#41 In Which We Discussed Dick (CatchVp Ep #28)

Enjoy this repeat of the Pod pod Cvlt Cast podcast Episode #28 In Which We Discuss Dick. We're taking a break this week!

Summary

This was Ep#28. There are two things missing from conversations about toxic masculinity and body positivity: positive masculinity and penis appreciation. Hello, we’re the Pod Pod Cvlt Cast and we’re here to talk to you about dicks, pics, consent, getting naked at parties, and comparison culture. This CatchVp (catch up) episode is to give us a regrouping break for our head and heart space. It’s fully disclosed at the top of the episode. Love to all.

We also answer Patron questions from Patreon.com/PodPodCvltCast! Find out how the Pod feels about podcasting. We share the most common questions we get about BDSM and our opinion on the best representation of polyamory in media.

Content warning: Penis! Max and Erik are very candid about their relationships with their bodies and food.

Click here to jump to the FULL TRANSCRIPT of this episode.

Terms of Note

Here are some terms and phrases we use in this podcast and links to articles we find informative. If we say something unfamiliar to you, please drop us a line on Twitter @podpodcvltcast FB /podpodcvltcast or email: thepod@podpodcvltcast.com Check out episode #1, #2, #3, #4,or #5 for some basic polyamory and kink terms. Or check out our glossary episodes #24 & #25

Resources & References

Episode 41 Transcript

Our transcripts are done by an AI with some brief editing by us to keep our costs free/minimal. If you’d like better transcripts, please consider becoming a Patreon Supporter! If our web version is not comfortable for you to read, try the link at the end that takes you to a version from our transcript-provider.

Max
Hey there. I was gonna see how long we could sit here and look at each other.

Chastain
It’s weird to just look straight on at you. Just like Hi.

Max
looking straight down the barrel we usually sit next to each other. We sit next to each other at the at the breakfast table and we sit next to each other on the sofa and on the sofa. I’m I’m sort of looking at the fireplace and you’re looking at the you’re facing

Chastain
Oh, yeah, well, we’re

record we never look at one another. So

Max
and we also just never record you and I know so that

Chastain
this is very strange. Good morning. Good morning. Good morning. Hi, this is Chastain

Max
This is Max.

Chastain
This is the Pod Pod Cvlt Cast. And these are interesting times. And we’ve had kind of a difficult week

Max
yet everybody’s having a bad week. everybody’s having a tough time. Even though it seems pretty indulgent. When we’re only what 40 episodes in to start doing reruns, we decided that it would be a good idea for all of us to take a week off of recording We don’t have anything banked up. So we’re just gonna let you guys listen to an episode that you may have already listened to. Or maybe you just joined us in the last couple weeks. And this is new to you.

Chastain
Yeah. So we’re going to listen to Episode 28, in which we discussed dick. This is an episode that came out on February 3, so it’s pre pandemic, which might be a nice break for you. And we talked about having parties and we talked about living out in the world and just being normal people. So that may be a good thing. I don’t know. Maybe that’s a breaking need. And we don’t know we honestly don’t know what the right thing to do is with any of us, but we wanted to put something out. We have done one rerun before we for Halloween, we put out our anxiety episode again. But that was the only time but that was a planned break. This is an unplanned. I think you and Eric were very You’re you were very honest about your bodies in this episode, and I was very proud of YouTube for opening up. And that’s one of the things I love about our podcast is that it surprises me always about the things that we’ll say on the microphone that we never say to each other.

Max
Yeah, in the first couple episodes when we were talking about why we were doing this all together, and what we hope to get out of it. You know, one of the things that I hope to get out of it, and still hope we haven’t quite gotten quite gotten there yet. Because even 40 episodes, we’re not all that comfortable yet. Really, yeah, is like that we would have the conversations that we don’t necessarily have, we would have them on mic while we were recording. You know, and I think that kind of forces you to, to be honest, held accountable. If it’s on tape,

Chastain
it’s a record. There’s a recorded record of it. Uh, yeah, you know, what I think would help. I think it would help if we were looking at each other.

Max
He’s been angling for us to like, find a new recording setup ever since we started

Chastain
I know I don’t like the living room setup because it’s difficult for me to I can’t see everybody. So yeah. Oh, now I can’t see to everybody anyway. So Eric is missed.

Max
So yeah, he’s gonna be mad when he sees what a mess I’ve made of the cords.

Chastain
Eric usually does a very diligent and very precise Brian

Max
job of putting the cords away and stuffed them into a bag. Mm hmm. And then that’s what she said get angry when I have to take them back out of that bag the next week. But anyway, yeah, so everybody’s having a tough time. You know, probably just about everybody out there, too, is having a tough time. And we’re just taking a few days to kind of get our head straight and think about what we’re going to do next. But we just didn’t came up with four ideas yesterday. So we have some ideas and we’re out We’re gonna plow ahead

Chastain
and all of my ideas will be voted down because they all involve

quizzes.

Max
Oh, maybe?

Chastain
Maybe. Okay, so enjoy Episode 28 have fun with this. It’s all about dick. Bye bye.

Max
It’s surprising to get another picture

Chastain
of this adorable pod dog. Here.

Hannah
It’s giving me good pod snuggles. pod snuggles. Oh,

Chastain
I’m gonna post that to Instagram. Y’all talk amongst yourselves. Don’t say

why do you do that?

Erik
Where did it go? It came from Mike Myers.

Max
Richmond Yeah. 30 days ago. Yeah. You weren’t alive. No. Linda Richmond was the Alright, character.

Erik
I heard that wrong.

Max
Yeah. Mike Myers is from what Toronto? Somewhere in Canada canadia as our stunt show, friend Grimm said, Oh, yeah, from Indiana Jones. So tell this man, he’s hitting on a much stronger accent than he actually had.

Chastain
Yes. Yeah. Yes. So this is starting up marvelously. Hi, everybody. How are we doing? Good. How are we doing? We just had lunch. We may I’m making soup handed dishes. Yeah, those are the things that happened. Eric is uploading photos for vacation stuffer.

Hannah
Yeah, here’s animal photos.

Chastain
Hannah, you’re interviewing us? Yes. Okay. Do you wanna do that now? Sure. Okay, great.

Hannah
Welcome to the Pod Pod. Poultry Cast. Everything’s fine.

Chastain
Part of the lease

Hannah
pool for poultry cast or belly bites.

Erik
Delicious

no disagreement.

Erik
I know you’d like him to

Hannah
welcome to the pub.

It’s curse.

Hannah
Welcome to the Pod Pod Cvlt Cast where we talk about life, love, learning and libido, and share our journey through polyamory and kink. I’m Hannah. I’m Max.

Chastain
I’m Chastain

Erik
And I’m Erik.

Max
Yes, you are. And this is NPR. VR and Erik is around. Hi, how are you doing everybody? We already answered that move on

Erik
and answered.

Chastain
Today we’re talking about penises. Diggs talking about decks.

But before we talk whackers

Chastain
before we talk about decks, I would like to we actually have a

Max
wedding tackle john Thomas’s Is

Chastain
that a thing? Johnson’s sprinkle. Can we make sprinkle a thing though?

Erik
Yeah, I mean, we never did that on a bus.

Max
Nobody has ever done that. Like, I

Chastain
don’t know how I somehow grew up in the one little area where we screamed penis and that was just a fun thing we did

Max
know as children. Nope, nothing. Penis anyway. So what are we doing before we talk about Tallulah?

Chastain
Well, so as you know, we met one of our Patreon goals. Yay, yay. Thank you so much patrons. Our Patreon goal was to me was $40 a month so that we could do a q&a, but it helps us become more accessible. We’re trying to get to $75 a month so that we can Start doing transcripts of all of our episodes. So that’s still a goal. And we’ll talk more about our Patreon later in the episode. So we did that. And so we gave all of our patrons the opportunity to ask us questions that they wanted to have answered on our free feed, which is this. So, at the Pod Pod Cvlt Cast, I have some questions from our patrons, Sydney. Okay. Are you ready? Yep. Okay, first question. What do you think has been the best representation of polyamory in popular media? And you can think about it for a second. I already have an answer because I read the questions beforehand.

Max
Give your answer while we’re trying to

Chastain
Dr. Marston and the women are Dr. Marrs Oh, yeah, that’s a good one that the Wonder Woman, the guy who wrote Wonder Woman comics, had a lifelong thurible and after he died, his wife stayed together and raised their kids together. wives they live together as wives. And I think it gives a very realistic portrayal of some of the emotions involved in that happening and how it can be organic and how it can be beautiful, but also very challenging.

Max
It’s Professor Marston in the Wonder Women. There we

Chastain
go, Professor Marston and the Wonder Woman, so I’ll make sure I link that in the show notes. But that’s what I think was a really great representation of polyamory, as I’ve kind of experienced, not in terms of like a three way relationship or a triad. I just the way that the emotions played out felt really real to me. Yeah, he’s based on real stories. So it’s been a couple years since we saw that, right. It also talks about the struggles in the beginning, right, but yeah, they’re trying to Yeah, yeah, it’s good. Yeah. And I thought that might not but actually make a really great club cast media club, too.

Erik
Yeah, for sure. I haven’t seen it. so sure. Yeah, it’s really good. Yeah, nobody we’re talking about. But this is also not new.

Max
Not having an idea.

Chastain
Well, well, who’s next or who thinks about who has another good representation? of polyamory and pop media

Max
that you’ve seen. I think that’s the answer.

Chastain
Oh, is that the answer? Oh, no. Oh, no, nobody says anything. No song shows.

Max
I think that’s the answer. Because I have another answer. I know what your other answer is. What is that a magician?

Yeah.

Hannah
This is cheating, first of all. But you’re right. You’re right. Either.

Max
She’ll explain to you later.

Chastain
I’ll probably make everybody watch it again. I’ll keep doing it over and over and over again. Okay, sorry. I’m back. And we’re back. All right. Well, next question. What is the one kink related question you get asked the most

Erik
kink related? Yeah, I’m not like poly related or kink. kink specifically. I don’t generally get asked questions,

Chastain
like parties and stuff. Do people have asked you questions? Yes, it’s usually, but it’s usually directed at me. And it’s something about so they’ve

Max
asked you.

Chastain
Questions about Eric, you like the same thing. Like if Eric leaves the room, it’s things like, Where’s your submissive and I go, he’s not myself. So.

Yeah, it’s

Max
I mean, I think it’s not really much of a question. I think like, the most commonly thing I’ve been asked over the years is just like, a lot of what my role is, or, you know what I do what I’m into? Yeah,

Chastain
yeah, I could ask what I meant to a lot. And I go, you can find me on fetlife or, and it depends on it. It depends on the person. Right.

Max
What I meant to really depends on my partner. It took a couple years for me to work out. You know, roles specifically top dominant, whatever. And, you know, I kind of landed on. I do two sometimes tops things.

Chastain
Here the tops, what about you about? What kind of questions do you get asked? None.

Erik
The facial expressions and they’re gonna carry to

Hannah
allow me to describe it where you know,

Chastain
I have a perfect image to describe it that

Max
I can’t. It’s fine. We’re moving on.

Chastain
Oh, I don’t know anything. What about like kink education stuff? What are like common things that you’ve seen online? You know, we’ve done a lot of Whisper stuff we’ve done a lot of what are some common kink things you see is arise on like fetlife or Reddit or just what’s the question another

Max
like question that I kind of question I get asked specifically, is just about like what happens at parties So what happens at our parties? Because once you know, someone knows that we host kink parties? Yeah. You know, it’s like, yeah, it’s not a world that everybody is broken into. So they don’t really know what to expect.

Chastain
And to be clear, we never talk about anything in specifics, because it is considered outing behavior to talk about anything that anybody does. But you can say I saw a scene where someone was spent. And that is a perfectly general way and safe way to talk about what you have seen at a party, but you don’t want to say, you know, I saw Marilyn Monroe getting, you know, tickled by Johnny Cash. You don’t want to give specific names and yeah, which I would pay to see that. That’d be really weird. I just, I’m on my second to third cup of coffee. So my head goes straight places. I think one of the questions I get is, how do I get invited? Right? How do I get involved in the community and we actually have an episode where we talk a lot about the kink community kink and kilts and tutus and corsets.

Max
I’m looking at

Chastain
something like three or four. Yeah, something like that. Yeah, so we have we have an episode dedicated to that. I think that’s the question I get asked the most is how do I how do I do that? And the answer is usually just show up. There are no keys to the kingdom that you need, you can just start going to things. There are events and public spaces that you can just show up to meet more people. And then you can invite it to them. Or Exactly. Meet people be nice to them be polite.

Max
Yeah. And oh, yeah. Another kind of sort of icebreaker question that I get asked, okay, usually is, well, how do I meet somebody who will do this thing with me, to me for me, or whatever?

Chastain
Just like you meet anybody else, you’d go somewhere and socialize. And then you ask questions

Max
or you know, fetlife or Yeah, so yeah. Do put kink specific things on non kink dating sites to so

Chastain
yes, yes. Yeah. So I was thinking about it. Like the entering the community stuff, and just showing up stuff. And there are like, it always comes back to me to like the one, the one to 1000 experiences I’ve had with going to a burlesque show and then telling people I went to her burlesque show, and people go like you would hope our last show. How do I do that? And I said, I bought a ticket. And then I arrived at the start time. The doors open, they let me and I sat in a seat and watched. I went.

Hannah
Yeah, it’s Yeah, people think that there are barriers around things because they have a boundary around that. Right. And I think it’s the same with parties a little bit because just because I am into a certain thing, or you have a certain idea in your head about a kinky sexy party being I don’t know whips and chains, I guess.

Erik
Yeah. Steps change.

Yeah.

Hannah
But you know, somebody who is showing up and is a little intimidated by those things but has the opportunity for group sex or voyeurism or like whatever their thing is, I think sometimes they don’t register that as being on the same plane. And for us, it often is like all of those people are in one space together. And we’re calling it one thing. Yes. So they’ve definitely gotten some, like, questions along those lines. If like, what if I don’t want to participate? And the answer is always you don’t have to do anything you don’t want to do

Chastain
ever even watch. It’s okay. Yeah, that the Is it okay to watch. Well, I just need the creepy dude. Or creepy person or creepy lady at the party watching one of them. Yeah, it’ll be one of

Hannah
many very good company. All of us are socially awkward. And that is part of the social setting. Yeah, I will need others to watch.

Chastain
It’s true. Absolutely. They want others to watch what’s most the reason they come to parties to do stuff. I had a great conversation with one of our house friends yesterday morning, and we were talking about feeling awkward at parties and I was talking about the fact that, you know, when I go to parties, I like to bring people with me. So I have sort of a little entourage of people that I ride with and leave with. So I feel like I have a party inside the party. But that hosting parties makes it easy, because then you can always say you have something to do. But when you’re just a guest at a party, I think it’s important to remember that everybody else feels just as awkward as you do. And everybody else is wondering where to put their eyes until they get comfortable in the environment. So if you haven’t gotten comfortable in the environment, it’s just remember that there are other people who are just like you and that you’re not the only one. And nobody’s looking at you like you’re a weirdo. Sorry. Well, except Eric.

Hannah
Like any other party in that, yeah, there’s always

Max
an Eric, are there more? Are there more questions that list? I have one more question. Okay. I’m gonna come back to something after we answer that question. Okay.

Chastain
The last question is what has been the hardest part about doing a podcast

Max
finding the time For us to get together here, do this session

Erik
up for schedules.

Max
Yeah. And I’m sure for testing. It’s just the edit everything else. Really, really is time consuming. But

Chastain
yeah, but I like it. I’m enjoying it.

Max
Yeah, yep. We haven’t run into or out of content yet. that’ll become, that’ll become the big problems and SEO questions.

Chastain
I mean, we took a vacation that just talked about vacation on for two episodes for our Patreon people. So yeah, so I think we got three, three episodes out of one vacation. So yeah, but we had to find the time to podcast while we were on vacation. Right. And that was also a challenge because we were tired and drunk and drunk, but mostly tired.

Hannah
I think we’re on a good trajectory from this being something that can be like emotionally draining for something that can be emotionally like it’s

Chastain
Yeah, you know, so. So Sydney, you know, thank you so much for all of these awesome questions, but I just want to share with you the comment that Sydney made at the end of his questions and he said that our podcast is informative, fun, intelligent and inclusive. Thank you. So thank you Sydney, because hearing that really helps make this an emotionally uplifting experience for us because we do want to feel we do want our listeners to feel like you’re just right here in the living room with us, chillin,

Max
get on your mate, etc.

Chastain
Okay, one we can’t make Australia jokes anymore because Australia is on fire or flooding. It still exists. But we know that Sydney’s not in Sydney. I know that was the joke.

Erik
No,

Chastain
I just talked to like five minutes.

Max
Okay, so I’m gonna go back to something Hannah said. Okay. Just a word Hannah said because this is a pedantic question that I’ve meant to bring up with you guys here but I don’t think I have Remember to bring it up yet? Sure. In the context of parties, Hannah mentioned the word for your ism. Yes. Is it possible? This is just a pedantic question? Is it possible for exhibitionism or voyeurism to exist in a space that’s set aside for sex and sexy things to happen? isn’t really exhibitionist to be naked in a space where you expect to see naked people.

Erik
Yes.

Chastain
So I saw I saw I think what you’re asking and I just want to be clear, I think what you’re asking is, if the whole point is that, you know, people are going to be okay with it. So it’s not taboo, right. Why is it so exciting? And I think the eyes watching it still eyes watching and i think that being an exhibitionist isn’t necessarily about shocking people who are watching you. I think it’s about just being watched and the how those people feel about watching you and what you’re trying to do. Like, if you’re trying to have them have an emotional response. I think that’s I, I’ve never been one of those shock vanillas types.

Max
And I think that that and I think that we take a stance here at it, podcast incorporated

Chastain
the Pod Pod Cvlt Cast headquarters. Yeah, that we don’t shock them analysts because that’s a consent violation. So I think yes, you can absolutely have voyeurism and exhibitionism when it’s when it’s, uh, I don’t think it has to be a secret

Erik
here all the time.

Hannah
Yeah. I have to go check the definition of lawyers right now to make sure I hadn’t used the wrong word. But I don’t think there’s anything in the definition that requires it to be secret or non consensual. There’s just that implication, I think a lot of times, right, right.

Max
Okay. That was it was just pedantry. That was Oh,

Hannah
thank you. I’m looking.

Max
I’m looking for the disclaimer, we

Chastain
have a disclaimer. Well, I think we should disclaim because we’re going to talk about a lot of ticks. Speaking of parties, we’re going to talk a lot all the way. And

Max
this is a podcast where we express our opinions about love and relationships, sex and kink polyamory and LGBTQ issues. And whatever else comes up while we talk about these things, we may also touch on stuff like violence, abuse and mental health challenges. These can be difficult topics, so keep that in mind moving ahead.

Chastain
So Max, you want to talk about debt I want to talk about dude. All right, talk about mix. Like specifically your deck is this like, I want

Max
to give a

Erik
shout out to your dick

Max
max.com I want to give a Oh yeah, I forgot about naked max.

How could you

Chastain
not paying $14 a year for

Max
stock holding in the membership fees like I thought it would? Well, I do want to give a pro tip up front if you have a little leaguer and you’re going on the international world wild, worldwide web to look up some baseball equipment. It’s Dick’s Sporting Goods calm, not Dick’s dot com that mistake that I made with our little leaguer sitting next to us one that’s to me one day. dicks calm is a very different thing. But I won’t talk about digs and dick

Erik
is also a different thing, because that’s the name of a knife and Tool Company in Germany. So if you go to the German site, they it’s not.

It’s not

Max
just like in seven. Yeah,

Chastain
sure thing.

Max
Yeah. So there’s a lot of like, weird dick negativity. Right.

Chastain
And we’re down on decks as a society. Yeah,

Max
you know, we see. So we’re just gonna giggle through this.

Erik
This is collapsing. Well, I don’t think you meant you had very much a layered statement there. My society just being down on Deck.

Chastain
society we’re

Erik
jerks right them so

Hannah
I think it’s pretty cool right now to say like, oh, dicks gross don’t want to see those right there in my inbox and I hate them, which isn’t understandable and like, yeah, somewhat joking response to a real thing. But

Chastain
yeah, I think, you know, I think that dicks as the genital and and as a concept represent a kind of toxic masculinity that society has awakened to recognize that we don’t want to promote in our children and in each other and but the flip side of that is that we’re not doing a good job of also lifting up like the really positive masculinity stuff. Like I think we see a lot more represented representation for us. trans woman, then we do trans men. And I think that we, you know, with body positivity stuff, it’s mostly focused on women and not on men. But, you know, I think that what all of us feel weird about our genitals and our bodies. And yeah,

Max
and there are some very good reasons for that. Yeah, acknowledge that. But yeah, that is the thing that I see as well. There’s a lot of a lot more support from women, to other women, for body positivity and being happy with your body and showing your body than there is from one day to another dude, for the same sorts of things, you know, yeah. And we see in the parties that we go to in the sort of environments that we’re in the parties that we hold, we see women much more often showing their bodies than we see men showing their bodies. And it’s not even typically like your super cut, ripped, buff dudes, who are the ones that show you their bodies. It’s usually your great big bear. Types right? That you see showing their bodies

Chastain
I guess yeah, I think you know we talked we had that episode where we talked about the article that Hannah brought to us why are polyamorous or polyamorous people so ugly? yes um and in when we talked about that article we talked about the fact that you stop giving a fuck about what society and other people think about you and you start selling chickens ready I’ll go check the chicken in a second speaking of female choke the chicken in the second. Oh dicks. I think that we should I lost my train of thought you could do polyamorous people so why are polyamorous people so ugly so beginner you have people who have really embraced an idea of like I don’t have to conform to societal norms. The beauty standards of pop culture don’t apply to me. I don’t care about them. I’m not worried about them. Those are the people who are going to be comfortable getting naked like me. I’m a fat chick. I have no trouble getting naked at a party. And I know so many women who have beautiful like thin, very, very, like, socially acceptable bodies. Yeah. And they are so like, Oh my gosh, like, I can’t believe you get like, you look so beautiful. And that fish that thing and it was like, wow, am I but I’m just, I’m just being comfortable. And it’s my house like it’s a sexy party. Why? Why just get naked, be free. And but everybody has hangups about their body no matter what their body looks like. So, yeah, no worries about that. I’m gonna go check the chicken. Good leaders.

And we’re back. And we’re back.

Max
Yeah, so the reason that I was thinking about this this week, and I suggested that we, we talked about this week is, as I recently had been trying to add more podcasts. I’ve been listening to a lot of swinger podcasts and kink podcasts, stuff like that, and you You hear a lot of like, I have heard a lot of like, Yay boobs, but nobody wants to see dicks. Kind of sentiment expressed. Literally they say that. There’s one that says that specifically in in a little ad that they do every week. That’s gross. Yeah,

I guess is that? I don’t know. Ah.

Max
You know, and I see on different forums on Reddit people talking about, you know, how dude won’t go naked, even in sex parties, specifically sex parties, you know, and a lot of it has to do, like, do we’re insecure about our digs. We’re insecure about the size of our decks. We’re insecure about everything that’s going on down there. And that’s just something that we’re sort of programmed with. But also, like, I would be more comfortable probably showing my dick at a party than I would my gut. Yeah, like I’d be more comfortable pantsless than shirt Yeah, and I don’t do either very often chest

Chastain
discomfort yeah and chest comfort men Isn’t that an interesting thing? There are men who are very comfortable with their chest no matter what they look like and there are men who are not for male identifying persons yeah

yeah when I mean we saw in our son growing up while still he’s you know

Chastain
he’s still he’s still like constantly like not eating real food he’s still doing protein shakes and doing starfish push ups and

Max
but when we when we started going to sexy parties A few years ago, you know I was in probably the best shape my life much better shape than I am now I was just a few pounds lighter but I was a lot leaner. And it was a big thing for me like I made sure the day that we were going to sexy parties I was that was an arm day at the gym. And you know, get a little extra pump.

Chastain
And you’d wear tight sleeves.

Max
Yeah. And still then I still wasn’t, you know, going shirtless?

Chastain
Yeah, I’ve never seen your shirtless unless you’re actually in party or doing sexy stuff. Yeah. Or it’s a pool party. Yeah. Hot Tub, whatever.

Hannah
I think we all want to do the routines that make us feel sexy and like ready to go to the party and meet the people. And a lot of times, you know, for all types of parties, all types of events that’s putting on the clothes that make us feel really good. I put a lot of time into preparing the outfit and like the ritual of like, getting ready getting dressed. And so

Chastain
it’s like

Hannah
armor. Exactly. Yeah. And that’s what it’s there for is to stand between you and the world and like, keep the insecurities on the inside. So it is a big deal to take your clothes off, even if you specifically showed up at the party to take your clothes off. And I don’t know I don’t know if part of the conversation. Is that like, we get to see ladies in various states of undress and their sexy lingerie and like a whole series of outfits that make them, you know, feel powerful. And I don’t think that there is a whole lot of that for men.

Erik
Yeah, that is definitely true. It usually involves putting more things Oh, yes, taking them off.

Max
Entering environments where I know, like I have something planned, or it is specifically a sex party environment that I know I’m going to be an underwear that’s going to be seen, like it’s difficult for dudes to find like, attractive for being seen underwear. Not for me.

Erik
Just go with the American flag.

Chastain
American flag, America.

Max
Yeah, I mean, I’ve you know, I have asked I probably asked both of you in this room, but I’ve also like, texted other partners and then like, what is sexy underwear for guys? Like what? Yeah, what do you get for that?

Chastain
You have very specific six sexy underwear. Right? It’s your sex. Yep. It’s your party and your date underwear.

Max
Yeah. Very specific. Yeah. Party. swim trunks things if we’re going to, you know, something with a hot tub or a pool.

Chastain
And that’s all designed to make your junk look good. And well, and what’s interesting is your sexy underwear is basically all the underwear that Eric owns. So all of his underwear makes a chunk look good all the time. So just walking around, feeling powerful about his junk all the time. No, no, I’m not saying it’s a competition. I’m just saying that.

Hannah
That’s what feels like a competition in a party context.

Chastain
No, nobody’s measuring. No rulers have been brought out.

Max
So all I’m saying is fellas let them dongs hang

Hannah
naked,

Max
but put down a towel or a tuck bed free. Sit down.

Chastain
Yes, shame. Shame on those podcasts for shaming men. Shame on anybody for shaming for not wanting to see genitals. All genitals are beautiful. Even though Once

Hannah
it’s not many I want as many people to be naked as possible, I

Erik
guess makes it better. I can also understand in a larger context, excluding just parties that they’re obtrusive, and people don’t necessarily want to see them.

Chastain
that aren’t boobs also?

Erik
Yes. It’s a double standard. That’s what you call a double standard. It is. I mean, that said, a lot of times the the obtrusive pneus isn’t the it itself. It’s the manner with which it’s delivered. Yeah. That’s a problem. How you deliver your dick.

Chastain
I don’t want to see you know, people’s moles and Hemorrhoids and all that stuff, too. But that’s what you’re seeing.

Erik
Right? Seeing the hemorrhoid stuff showing it off. Oh, wrong.

Max
That’s not what you know. But here’s the thing about obtrusive pneus and antics that I think is really funny. Is that yes. You know, digs are can be obtrusive they can be seen as a thing of aggression, you know? And so we don’t want people to walk around with their dicks out right? ties are dicks that’s why ties exists. You have a great big decode your chest Yes. And I think it’s fucking hilarious to think about that but then it’s just dude every day going to work. go dig on their chest. Yes to express some kind of dominance.

Erik
Yeah, well, yes. And actually, where I was going to springboard this and that set it up perfectly is it’s it’s usually not the dicks themselves, though. That the intrusiveness it’s the shameful way with which they’re trying to be covered and then compensated for it. That’s the obtrusive part. That’s what I dislike. You know, I think that just let your dick hang out. Man, you need to drive some giant pickup truck for

Max
your rifle.

Yes.

Chastain
Hey, it’s Justin here from the Pod Pod Cvlt Cast. If you’re enjoying what you hear if you love the pod, consider supporting us on Patreon it’s podpodcvltcast.com/supportthepod. Easy as that, check out our membership levels, check out our exclusive podcast that covers books, music, movies, anything that has to do with kink, or polyamory non monogamy and also check out our new community. We are loving and chatting with our patrons hanging out with people. It’s a free community. You don’t have to be a member to join, but you get awesome bonuses if you do like live chats and access to or not safe for work section. So consider supporting us we’d appreciate it. I’ll let you get back to the episode. Well, so I don’t think the problem is necessarily just penises being out I think it’s the fact that penises can be hard. penises can drip penises can do all kinds of things that that

Erik
you can helicopter. Can

Chastain
Can but but it’s a little more contained and less obvious when a woman a woman isn’t gorged in her lady bit area, when a person is engaged in that area, it is less like in your face. In most words as it were literally. But when when a penis is in gorged and in a state of arousal, it’s out there and it’s like, like, however many inches in front of their torso or Whatever. And it does become something that can accidentally bump up against people and things like that. So I think it’s not necessarily that we don’t want to see them. I think it’s that people need to understand like an etiquette of how to be naked with your penis and maybe be aroused in that kind of environment. And also be courteous and not like get your fluids places, and I’m not talking about calm, I’m talking about pre calm. I know a lot of people that I’ve seen get naked in environments that have really drippy Cox and it’s just like drip drip drip everywhere. And I mean, like, I feel bad, like, I kind of want to go like just get like a washcloth or something and carry it around like, I don’t know, put a sock on it or something, but I don’t want them to feel like they have to cover up but still like, you know, that’s fluids from your body that your

Erik
beard of tissues to have hanging off of the bottom,

Chastain
just like stick a tissue to the end. Like if you cut yourself

like a little beard.

Chastain
But like when a woman is naked and wet, like That’s mostly internal. You know, it’s not like squirting or something like that, where that’s very visible and all over the place. It can’t. It can be, but I’m just saying it’s like if you’re just walking around and turned on, it’s less visible. You know, women’s, you know, I shouldn’t say women. This physical, female body of breasts, and females, I don’t know how to say these in proper inclusive terms. So I’m just going to say right now with both people with all of us, yes, the arousal is not as obvious, but people will follow those. The erectile tissue is contained mostly in the chorus, which is an organ that is mostly covered up by labia and all that stuff. And breast tissue, breast become and gorge and nipple nipples become erect when aroused. So unless you’re like really checking out those boobs that you’re looking at, or it’s just cold, you know, you can’t really, but we all like boobs. So anyway, I’ll show No.

Max
Did you arrive at whatever point you’re trying to arrive? I just you know,

Hannah
don’t trip. Don’t trip on stuff. Okay, but that’d be a job leads me to think as someone who does not have a penis that for people who do have a penis

Max
she doesn’t folks I’ve checked I

Hannah
can’t confirm no penis here. But if you for those who do you you are revealing more when you take off your clothes. I think that is at the heart of what you’re you’re saying like it can be inconvenient but also

Max
Yeah, there is. Yeah, you are more vulnerable about it potentially. Yeah, there is a potential vulnerability. I wasn’t thinking about it that way but Absolutely. Well in a vulnerability and what Hannah said a few minutes ago about like clothes being armor and that sort of thing. You know, we’re talking about penises, not about feet, but like shoes are a big deal for me. I don’t like being even in socks, not barefoot certainly but even in socks in a lot of like public context because I feel more confident if I’m in shoes. You know, when we go to homes where people ask you to remove your shoes when you come in the door like that makes me feel vulnerable.

Erik
You know, it just makes me feel kind of stupid if I’m at like a thing that I’ve dressed up for, you know,

Chastain
dressy shoes to take. Yeah, and I understand, especially with people who rent their trash or save their carpet, or I guess,

Max
I’m just saying my feeling so yeah,

Hannah
no, I have been wearing the tie. Shoes.

Erik
Yeah, since it’s like completely common in Germany to always take your shoes off when you go into someone’s home. If someone is hosting a party or whatever, they would have like a whole slew of like passable foot house shoes for everybody that’s coming by. They’re usually sandals of some type or whatever. But yeah, a lot of people will have like a whole stack of shoes and various sizes just to they have something to put on their feet. But aren’t shoes that have been worn outside? Yeah,

Max
yeah, I you know, parties here. We all have I think except for Eric generally have like costume changes, you know? Yeah. Too much clothes

Chastain
and not clothes.

Max
Yeah that’s been my late night I’m either in my nice smoking jacket that you bought me or you know a robe or whatever and I’ve looked for like some attractive house slippers or you know, carpet shoes or something to go with that for that reason because even in my own home with other people around it makes me feel more secure to like be covered it that way. Yeah.

Chastain
Okay, so both of you have penises Max and Eric Hill you can confirm. So when you are naked in a public situation, both of you happen. Do you feel scared that your genitals are going to be hurt?

Erik
hurt? No, no.

No, I’m just

Max
I see what is it? Because just like verbal part of the body is

Chastain
it’s a vital part of the body. Because this isn’t just kind of out there

Erik
kind of became accustomed to protecting it.

Max
ourselves from time to

Erik
time that happens, but not generally just you know, hanging out at a party. Okay, so not a general worry of mine.

Chastain
Alright, so Eric, let me ask you this as somebody who is a penis ever, who does get naked at parties and seems to give no fucks at that point? Is it just inhibitions from alcohol? Or is it

Erik
just it’s usually a contributing factor?

Chastain
Or is it you know what, like, I’m about to get my dick sucked. So I might as well be comfortable, like, what is

Erik
it? That’s also sometimes a contributing factor? I don’t know. Because I’m not always like that. In fact, I’m not at all a showy person. It’s pretty sure we can fit in general like don’t and like outside. Have that context I would almost never

Hannah
do. What are the things that put you at ease that make that a good context for being Nicky?

Erik
Difficult to say? Sometimes it’s purely Oh, you feel awkward about this. So I’m gonna just step that up by awkward at all.

Chastain
Okay, you do get really competitive about that.

Erik
That’s, I wouldn’t call it competitive. It’s more just our standard bearer.

Max
Yeah. Yeah. But we have a couple people who come to every party we have here who are all generally very good people. And I’m like, hell

yeah, you do it.

Max
They can kick it off the man. Yeah. Yeah.

Erik
Yeah, I’m not that freewheeling

Chastain
now. I got free. Free balling. Um, yeah.

Max
But you know, it’s great to have a preference. It’s perfectly fine to have a preference for size. If you’re someone who has sex. with people with dicks, but like, you’d also be real nice if like big could just stop being a punch line to every fucking thing. Yeah, you know what I mean? Yeah, that’s a bummer.

Chastain
I understand, you know, as somebody who enjoys being penetrated by phallic objects, I will say this. It’s more about girth. It’s all girth.

Max
Well, and that’s a preference yours and I’m saying everybody has preferences. And

Chastain
yeah, that’s what I’m saying. But I’m saying I’m saying, but that hasn’t prohibited me from enjoying a variety of phallic objects. And it’s how you use it.

Max
Right? And so we have kind of on the docket for this thing talking about how toxic toxic masculinity plays into these things and wanting to to show any part of your body as a man, right and any, any context. And that’s the thing, right? Like, being worried about the size of your dick isn’t about the size of your dick. It’s about how that relates to your masculinity, right?

Erik
Yeah. Yeah, I’d say. I’d say it’s rooted more than anything physical. It’s more of a psychological hang up.

Max
Yeah. And quite fast. And you said, Guys are worried about how their chest looks. That’s also about your masculinity because, like, Am I more feminine if my chest if is not, you know, hard pecs? You know what I mean? Mm

Chastain
hmm. So, okay, so I’m going to ask, I’m just going to prepare you and if you’re not if you’re not, if neither of you feel prepared for this, yeah. You don’t have to answer you can just say I pass and I’ll edit it out. Max, I’ll start with you since you brought up the penis topic. Max. Do you like your body?

Max
Right now overall I’m at a okay with my body.

Chastain
That’s good. You know? Do you feel confident? being naked in front of partners? Yes. Do you feel confident being naked in front of people at parties?

Max
Well, I’ll say, I’m gonna qualify the last question a little bit. I am confident being naked in front of my current partners because anybody that I am currently having sex with or have had sex with in the last couple years, like, I’ve known for a while, and they’ve seen me naked a few times. And, you know, I know that they’re okay with how I look. Yeah, you know, if, but a new partner if I was to start dating somebody tomorrow, and the first time I went back to their place or whatever it was, like, yeah, I feel a little uneasy the first time taking my clothes off. Yeah.

Chastain
Okay. And do you feel comfortable being naked in front of people at parties?

Max
It takes I’m not going to just get naked. Party. Okay, I am comfortable getting naked party if something I’m doing involves getting naked. If I’m going to be in a group sex group sex situation at a party, I will take my clothes off. I am comfortable with that. If some kind of play if I’m wrestling, you know, then I’ll take off my shirt. Yeah, I’ll put all my little wrestling shorts. Yeah, I am comfortable. If there’s a reason for me to take my clothes off, I am not comfortable just taking my clothes off for the sake of taking my clothes off.

Chastain
Okay, awesome. Thank you for thank you for for sharing. Eric

Erik
that different

Chastain
not that different. Pretty much the same on all that stuff for the most part. Yeah, you feel pretty okay with your body right now?

Erik
Feel sickly and lazy and weak and whatnot for that, in general? No.

Chastain
So I’m going to ask you a slightly different question because I know you come from an athletic background where appearance was very important. Do you think that athletics that do involve things like appearance and performance have really shaped how you think about your body now as a man,

Erik
only in the indirect sense that it used to be much more central a focus of mine and now it’s not at all okay? elaborate on that meaning that it was such a thing that I would stress over Oh, through like adolescence and having grown up past that. I’m like, I guess more in the camp of me it doesn’t fucking matter anyway.

Chastain
You feel comfortable being naked in front of partners? Yeah, you feel comfortable being naked in front of people at parties if you’re doing something

Erik
depends on the party but yeah.

Chastain
Okay, so pretty much the same.

Erik
You know, overtly your your if there’s a reason for me to be is Yeah, that that rings true. No, just gonna do it. Just do Right, right.

Chastain
No. Well, unless don’t

Erik
get to see the Yes,

Chastain
that’s right, you, you protect your treasure.

Max
You know, and if we’re outside of just having a conversation here, we’re actually offering advice to dude going to parties. You know, if you’re a dude my age, I’m 42 years old, you know, if your dude my age or you know, in the range, like, keep in mind that you’re not like, because this is the thing that I think about. You’re not competing with the 24 year old guy at the party whose metabolism hasn’t slowed down yet, who hasn’t, like started losing testosterone yet? Like you’re a 42 year old guy at a party, you’re not

Chastain
that and I think that, you know, when we talk about toxic masculinity, a lot of that brings up what I refer to as comparison culture. Yeah. Where we really, really look at what the other person has, and this in this conversation, I guess what the other guy has, and I think that from my accent, variance and talking to you and talking to just other people that I’ve dated. That like adolescent comparison experience was really powerful for young men. Would you say that’s true for both of you? Oh, yeah. Huh?

Max
Yeah. Yeah. And, you know, with sports that I played, like, you know, you do see the guys in when you’re changing when you’re dressing that like, have the natural cut that I’ve never had my body’s just not made that way. Right. You know? And you do you compare and in that environment you go like, this guy’s a, you know, better athlete better ballplayer than I am just because he’s got like, he looks like one. Yeah, I mean,

Chastain
Hannah found, I guess, Hannah, did you find this article? I did. Okay, Hannah found an article from break, binge eating calm. And it talks about body image. It has some great terms and things. And I thought that maybe, I don’t know how you feel about this, but maybe we could go through each of these terms. And maybe it’s You and Eric could maybe share some of your experiences about it. I think it would be valuable for our listeners to, to hear somebody talking openly about how they how this affected their experience. If that sounds okay to you,

Max
yeah, I haven’t seen the terms I saw. Okay. Just exams. Well,

Chastain
so it’s got some terms. Yeah. Okay. So I just asked you both how you feel about your bodies right now. Right. That’s one of the terms that mentioned here is just kind of overall body dissatisfaction and just not not feeling great about your body. And, you know, as a, as a woman and somebody have a larger size, like that’s been something I struggle with all my life. You know, Max, I know that you have had issues with food and not being happy with your body and you go through times where you don’t feel attractive or you do feel attractive, and it seems to you know, come in phases and things like that. Do you think Think that through the course of your life, you’ve had an overall party, overall positive relationship with your body or, or negative. I mean, it wasn’t really a thing

Hannah
that I thought

Max
about that much except for comparing to other people and comparing to other dudes when I was young, because I had that young man’s metabolism, you know, I put on muscle pretty easily when I was trying to put on muscle. So I’ve gone through this thing, since I was a teenager where, you know, I would be in an environment where I was working out a lot, I’d get in good shape, whether it’s because of sports or for sports, or just because the dude I was hanging out with were gym people, you know, and I’d get in really good shape. I’d be in good shape for about a year, and then I wouldn’t be you know, and stop, start putting on weight. And I went through that over and over and over again test and when you and I started dating, I was cycling a lot.

Chastain
Yeah, and I was

Max
huge. I was 30 pounds. Lighter than I am today. Yeah, yeah. And I had, like, hard, like big, hard thighs. And I didn’t like my body then because I felt small. Right? So, you know, I was starting a physical job then. Well, I’d been in a physical job then for a couple years. And once I stopped cycling, my body changed again, my shoulders got bigger and wider. And I also put on a lot of weight over the next few years, but that 30 pounds on and, you know, okay, then then I decided that I wanted to be in better shape. So, you know, it took me a couple years to get in at what 38 or so to get in the best shape of my life. I was in better shape and happier with my body at 38 than I was at 18. You know, I was a lot bigger and that was the main thing about it was that I was bulkier and I felt happy with the bulk that I had and then you know, like gets in the way and you get lazy and you stop going to the gym so much and then you stop going to the gym at all. And I am where I am today, which is I’m not happy with my body, but I’m okay with my body. I’m okay with how I look, you know, I could lose my beer gut. That would be a good thing. But yeah, I didn’t answer your question at all. What was your question? No, just like, um, you know, if you look back over the course your life has your relationship with your body been more positive or negative? I mean, we’re talking about body dissatisfaction. Yeah, and I, I think more positive. You know, you mentioned having food problems, and I have like, shame about the way I eat. Because I eat a lot of garbage. And I eat more out of habit than out of like necessity. I like to eat while I’m driving. That’s a big problem. That’s also one of the reasons my truck is so messy. There are Doritos and shit everywhere. But yeah, so overall, like more positive, but you know, I need I’m not going to I won’t say I need to clean out my eating I’m not going to eat like this My whole life I’m not going to change now.

Erik
Yeah, I would say that I am similar in that regard but I have no shame in it

Max
constantly and it’s amazing low greed snacking. I mean it’s it’s a healthy snacking. It’s not you’re not eating Doritos like I am but

Erik
like, but it’s pork belly

pistachio treats.

Chastain
retreats are. So Eric, what about you like over the course of your life? What’s your relationship with your body been like, would you say it’s been overall positive or negative? Or where does it come out and watch for you? It’s really

Erik
in the middle and it’s less negative over time. That’s good, not more positive but less negative.

Chastain
Do you Do you find some similarities with Mac’s in terms of

Erik
cycling through shorter cycles I wouldn’t say cut in the summertime but I’m

Max
better in the summertime and Hibernate in the wintertime and put on a few see that I have like not this way. Things are a little different. But usually I get in better shape during the winter because I’m not working as much so I go to the gym more because I don’t have anything to do. So you know, that couple hours in the gym four times a week. Yeah, more time does a

Erik
wonder of good. Now usually once it starts to get too cold, but I don’t really like riding the bike all the time. I just start eating more and going to bed at like eight o’clock. Yeah. And, and I usually will put on I don’t know, usually about 2020 pounds in the cold months and then drop it off in the warm months.

Max
Well yeah you know you you will be here one week and then the next week you’ll come over and like damn area slim is shit

Erik
it’s also partly not to do with my own efforts but when you work in a shop that’s as hot as it is outside only there’s no breeze really yeah

Max
well and that’s what it out all day yeah that’s actually a like another factor in me losing weight often in the winter is you burn more calories when it’s cold and if I am outside in the cold like I burned a lot of calories

Erik
Yeah, there used to be that way for me when I worked outside but we have heat in the show.

Chastain
Have either of you ever one of the terms here is body image avoidance Have either of you ever, you know dressing using to hide your body or

Erik
I don’t like like beaches and water parks and you know, hot outdoor stuff where everybody’s in their. Their swimwear and all that sort of thing. Yeah, really largely just leave it. Don’t Don’t do it.

Max
Well I don’t do a lot of these things because I can’t swim, but

Erik
I don’t do well in direct sunlight Yeah, I

Max
don’t think that I have avoided those situations on purpose for that reason. I think that you know, often one finds that there are more people that look like you than you expect there to be.

Erik
Actually better nothing to do with it. It’s more like to go back to you don’t get to see this

kind of along those lines. Yeah. Fine. I won’t really think Marilyn deserves him.

Chastain
Yeah, I look forward to our beach vacations at night. Do either of you think that you’ve ever experienced body dysmorphia? Where you have thought negatively about your body? But those have been skewed thoughts are not actually the reality where

Erik
yes yeah, not drastic, but yeah.

Max
I wonder if I do because I will talk about my body and you or Hannah, or you will tell me that I’m not being realistic about my body. So I wonder how much that is just a partner, someone who cares about you, you know, telling you nice things.

Erik
As opposed to see me,

Max
dude. Yeah, skewed vision of myself. Yeah,

Erik
the partner can also skew that vision in the opposite direction. That’s true. That’s true. We see what we want to see our penis all the time?

Chastain
Hell yeah. Okay, um, well, you know, I think I think that, you know, just as a whole, all of these are really, really common things. But we don’t hear men talking about it.

Erik
Well, I don’t want I don’t really know why. It is a double standard to have to ignore gender or what Whatever traditional gender roles blah, blah, blah in this direction, but not in that direction. Meaning that guys could just get over it and be okay with it and talk about stuff like that. But we’re not really set up to be that

Max
way. Well, yeah, we’re not set up to support each other in any kind of way. We’re set up we’re sidedly conditioned, we’re conditioned by evolution, we’re conditioned by whatever, to be competitive. And not to like support other people and certainly not to say nice things about other dudes. Right appearance,

Chastain
but you know what I’ve like? One thing that I will say about you too, in the pod is that you two have complemented each other and tonight saying nice things about each other’s clothing and each other’s bodies just over the course of time since we’ve since we’ve formed this little tribe or what have you. And that’s then pleasant to watch. I think that there’s an I think that with the podcast, you know, Earlier when we answered the question, what’s one of the hardest things about the podcast? I think that there’s a lot of opening up that we do. And while that may not be a hard thing, I think it is certainly a vulnerable and kind of emotionally difficult thing. And I’ve seen you both open up in a way that you don’t just generally do.

Erik
Well, where I was going with the rest of what I was saying earlier was that guys experienced the exact same sorts of insecurities, right? It’s the double standard lies and the acceptance to express it.

Chastain
Well, I think should express it and I’m glad you are expressing it.

Max
And one of the list of key terms that we were just looking at one of them something about body checking, or whatever, which like, is so common that it’s a punch line on TV shows and movies is like guys flexing in the mirror and like older dudes sucking in their guts in front of the mirror.

Chastain
I mean, this is a thing That our son does constantly and it’s a thing that, you know, I, I don’t know how to help him because he has some severe bodies, more severe issues and but he constantly looks in the mirror, any reflective surface, he stops and he looks and he looks at his body and you know, just the other night I was dropping off Chinese leftovers and I and I dropped them off and he was wearing his thermal like underwear shirt and a pair of shorts. And he was talking about his torso and talking about like trying to get ready for the beach the summer and wanting and he’s you know, he’s tiny and fit and strong. And I think that only

Erik
works on that time. Yeah, he’s

Chastain
young. Yeah, he’s just 19 and yeah,

Max
yeah, but I do think he is a stronger case of it than I did it. Yeah, sure. Yeah. You know, I think that he’s in a environment where there is more comparison and definitely, you know, with Instagram models and usually Plenty of plenty of people to look at absolutely no bad way.

Chastain
Absolutely. And there is a and there is a definite male beauty standard. That is, I think has changed definitely over time. I mean, you don’t see your you know, your no ABS haven’t waistband up to your nipples, like carry grants. Right more you have, you know, everybody’s ripped. Well, yeah. And I think unless you aren’t and then you’re a comedic lead,

Max
right? When I was his age, I feel like the guys in my own life, not people on TV and stuff like that. But the people that I saw in the real world, the guys that I thought were strong, tough dudes. Were just kind of normal looking guys, they might be big, you know, but they were just kind of normal looking guys, they weren’t guys who had ever seen the inside of a gym, right? You know, all of the guys that were around my dad and around my uncles and stuff and some of them that I thought were just saying toughest badasses that I’ve ever seen. They just look like somebody’s dad because they were just somebody’s dad. You know?

Chastain
Yeah. Well, I’m a friend, I saw a friend talking about how they really wanted to wear hipster clothing. And they wish they could fit into like all the hipster clothes. Well,

Erik
there’s your fault. Well just don’t want to wear hipster clothing.

Chastain
No, I think it’s okay to wear hipster clothing. So

Max
I sent them a message on how to wear whatever you want to wear.

Erik
I will I also say that most people like hipsters, Well here it is a hipster

Chastain
is the hipster hipster

and then most people are talking about a newsboy you’re talking about your thing.

Chastain
My assignment my thing. Oh, my thing was that so I said I sent my friend a message and I said, Hey, you can absolutely wear these things. Your body’s great like you should definitely wear this stuff if it if that’s what you want to wear. And the response I got was really like yeah, and you know, I like I like all ask questions about what Should I cut my bangs or stuff like that on things like social media, Facebook, I talk about my body on Facebook a lot. I talk about body, body positivity, I talk about being fat. Because I’m just kind of out there, all over the place as who I am. And, you know, I, like I get a lot of positive response from women. And, like, I feel like men aren’t part of that part of that conversation. And I think that men really need to be part of the conversation and we need to be more inclusive.

Max
So in summary, and it was getting ready say something I’m sorry.

Hannah
Oh, no, I was just gonna go back and qualify what I said at the beginning of the conversation. So now that I have listened, yes, if it’s my party, I want more people to be naked, but that’s because I want more people to be comfortable. So yeah, however you are comfortable and best equipped to enjoy the party and engage with your surroundings is

Erik
great, not a competition to talk about who’s best equipped

Chastain
I don’t know you’re talking about larger context earlier and I was about to lose it. So

Max
can we just talk about how big shouldn’t always be a punch line?

Chastain
So I don’t think they should I yeah, they shouldn’t be a punch line and

Erik
smell deck should be.

Chastain
We haven’t So one thing we haven’t talked about his dick pics. Yeah. as a as a person on the internet. I have received many a dick pic in an unsolicited fashion. I don’t normally solicit dick pics. That’s not really a big thing that I asked for. There have been partners that I’ve asked them for. Eric is a very anti dick pic.

Erik
Yeah. Yeah, I’m so sorry.

Chastain
That’s not necessary. I just see it in person. Yeah.

Max
As you were saying,

as I was saying, so like Max, have you sent a dick pic? Hell yeah.

Chastain
Do you send them unsolicited?

Max
No. I am fortunate. I guess to have had Several partners generally a partner at a time, who likes receiving pics and will ask for them. And in that context, I enjoy sending. But as with all things, consent is key.

Erik
Hey, why is your camera going? No, yeah,

I’m trying to do the job.

Max
Well just choose a trumped up everything so you can take a picture of the dog, you didn’t have to stop anything. I was done with my statement. You were asking the question and I answered it. Thank you. Okay. What else? What else should we say about the pig?

Chastain
Well, I think you know, why do we think men send them unsolicited,

Erik
the same insecurity that dictates that they wouldn’t want to show it in a different context. When you explain that in a well now you’re forced to look at it kind of way. Or in a in the in, in a it’s not at all anonymous, but in the anonymity of doing It with technology. Yeah. Yeah, there’s a separate like safety at being at the other end of it, which is really kind of stupid Axelsson saying once you’ve done that, and then they can screenshot that ship and send it everywhere that I think

Max
there’s a boom. As privilege is the right word, I think there’s a mount an amount of like entitlement. There’s an amount of entitlement of saying I am entitled to force this upon you. Just fucking though but I’m also like safer doing it at the other end of the phone line rather than just whipping out my deck at the office to show it to.

Chastain
Okay, so. So following that line. So if you flashed somebody in public, you’d be on the sex offender list, right? If you whip your dick out of office, you would lose your job and be on the sex offender list, right? So if you send somebody a picture of your genitals, unsolicited, that’s still not a crime as perfectly illegal for you to send a picture of your penis to somebody without their permission. That’s not a crime. It’s perfectly legal for you to send a pornographic image to somebody without their permission. That’s not a crime. Right? So but if you split if you got naked on the street, or you fucked in front of them on the street, that’s a crime. Right? So what changes it between it’s happening on screen and it’s happening in real life?

Max
Oh, nothing. I mean, I think I don’t think you can find disagreement here. Right. I think it’s just

Erik
I know, I’m hasn’t caught up.

Chastain
Yeah. Okay. So that well, that’s what I’m, that’s what I’m trying to inspire is like, you know, does everybody agree that there’s no difference? Because this is what I tell people when they send me unsolicited dick pics. I tell people I did not consent to that. If you did that to me on the street, I would call the cops and I also do things like what would your mother

Hannah
so I will say both of those are equally wrong things to do. And violations of consent but I would be much more frightened in person because Don’t fear for my physical safety. If I receive an unsolicited nude photo, that’s true. There are circumstances in which I would, but that, you know, usually there’s at least enough of a barrier there to be like, okay, I didn’t like that. So I’m never gonna interact with you again. And I have that choice in that moment. Yeah, this

Erik
is a red flag and there’s the guy that’s gonna do that on the street is not doing that in your home. Well,

Chastain
yeah. That guy on your butt, the guy on your, on your phone?

Erik
That’s in a lot of ways more obtrusive.

Hannah
It’s very important. Yeah.

Chastain
Especially if that’s somebody that you’re talking to about potentially dating or something like that. It’s it’s a minor consent violation that lets them find out how you’re going to react to that kind of more major concern, pushing a boundary. And typically people who are like that if they push that boundary, they’re going to push other boundaries, and I consider them unsafe individuals. That make sense. Yeah.

Max
Yeah, it would be interesting. If one were to remove it from reality, and you know, in that people are actually getting hurt, it would be interesting just to know, the statistics on whether incidents of things like flashing have increased or decreased in an age where you can digitally because I remember, you know, as a kid, I can remember it was more common. Oh yeah, girl I knew who would have somebody flashing on the street, there was a thing that was happening a lot in the suburb that I grew up in that there was a guy driving around, and he would call young girls over to his car and he would be naked from the waist down in the car. There was a summer that that was happening a lot. And I wonder if those sorts of things have decreased. Now that you can do it from the comfort of your own sofa?

Chastain
I always say no, because now you can also record it on your cell phone and upload it to Pornhub as a Pornhub video, and it’s called like public jackoff car jackoff right. Um, you know, she watched me like You know, that sort of thing and it’s videos of the same dude typically who is, you know, has a problem and is masturbating in public or women there?

Erik
Yeah, there’s lots of things the Public Library’s apparently. According to seven about that,

Chastain
no, like there are there are lots and lots and lots and lots of cameras. I think that my free cams has a policy about you’re not supposed to perform in public, you’re not supposed to record in public situations. But there are lots of people who do it anyway, they do it anyway. And they use those remote control the the vibrators that your audience quote, unquote, can control and things like that, and they do it in public and but men do it the same, the same thing. And I think, you know, it’s, it’s, it’s an act of sexual aggression, and it’s, it’s a crime and so you’re committing a crime. And that brings me to Exit action. You’re you’re engaging in risky behavior to get off. And I think that people who send dick pics are pushing it back knocking on the door of it.

Max
Yeah, absolutely. Well, what’s the what’s the Oscar Wilde quote? Everything’s about sex except for sex, which is about power. I’m like, yeah. So that’s that’s exerting power over somebody else. dominance as well.

Chastain
And it comes back to shocking the vanilla, which is a consent violation. And it’s doing something that somebody else did not consent to. Right. Yeah. Yeah. Cool. Full Circle penis.

Erik
That’s not how that work. I don’t like that. They don’t do that at all. In fact, they kind of do the

Chastain
penis

Erik
summary because eating its tail

Max
if they don’t have tails So in summary, let them dongs. Hang my dude’s look at us. In an appropriate environment, let them don’t hang.

Chastain
Our dress code says cocktail fetish lingerie or neck it.

Erik
Right there the word caulk and pay. It’s

Max
got it. It doesn’t specify. Just for ladies.

Chastain
It does not it does not so, let them hang out. Celebrate. Celebrate and Dax.

Max
Everybody celebrate Maddie.

Chastain
Alright, so, thank you everybody for listening. And I guess we’ll catch you next week. Bye. Bye.

Erik
You have been listening to the Pod Pod Cvlt Cast podcast with your hosts, Max Chaston. Hannah and myself. I’m EriK. Our theme music is by Lobo Loco or break music is by Pale Blue with Gob erino. You can find episodes show notes, social media and contact information at podpodcvltcast.com cvlt with a V our podcast is brought to you by our supporters on patreon.com/podpodcvltcast. Thanks for listening.

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Pod Pod Cvlt Cast

PodPodCvltCastCover podcast about polyamory/kink life, love, learning and libido