#32 “Disrupting the Bystander” (Handling Harm in Our Communities)

The Pod Pod Cvlt Cast discusses A.V Flox's book, Disrupting the Bystander, and how the BDSM and Polyamory communities can use it to heal harm #metoo


Policing harm in the polyamory and BDSM communities can be challenging. When consent is violated, when people are assaulted, when people commit assault… we often shy away from victim and perpetrator. In A.V. Flox’s important first book, Disrupting the Bystander: When #metoo Happens Among Friends, we learn that we should do the opposite. We should surround people who have been harmed and people who harm with our human spirit to help them find space to heal.

In this episode we discuss the book and the process of care it outlines for ourselves, for those harmed, and yes, for those who have harmed others.

Content Warning: This episode contains discussion of assault, rape, bad actors, and how unsafe we really are in our “communities” without having each other’s back.

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Terms of Note

Here are some terms and phrases we use in this podcast and links to articles we find informative. If we say something unfamiliar to you, please drop us a line on Twitter @podpodcvltcast FB /podpodcvltcast or email: thepod@podpodcvltcast.com Check out episode #1, #2, #3, #4,or #5 for some basic polyamory and kink terms. Or check out our glossary episodes #24 & #25

Resources & References

Episode 32 Transcript

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Pod Pod Cvlt Cast

PodPodCvltCastCover podcast about polyamory/kink life, love, learning and libido