#32 “Disrupting the Bystander” (Handling Harm in Our Communities)
Policing harm in the polyamory and BDSM communities can be challenging. When consent is violated, when people are assaulted, when people commit assault… we often shy away from victim and perpetrator. In A.V. Flox’s important first book, Disrupting the Bystander: When #metoo Happens Among Friends, we learn that we should do the opposite. We should surround people who have been harmed and people who harm with our human spirit to help them find space to heal.
In this episode we discuss the book and the process of care it outlines for ourselves, for those harmed, and yes, for those who have harmed others.
Content Warning: This episode contains discussion of assault, rape, bad actors, and how unsafe we really are in our “communities” without having each other’s back.
Terms of Note
Here are some terms and phrases we use in this podcast and links to articles we find informative. If we say something unfamiliar to you, please drop us a line on Twitter @podpodcvltcast FB /podpodcvltcast or email: email@example.com Check out episode #1, #2, #3, #4,or #5 for some basic polyamory and kink terms. Or check out our glossary episodes #24 & #25
- Polyamory Community
- Kink’/BDSM Community
- Broken Step- Missing Stair
- Winter Fire
- Philly Music Hall
- Resources for Groups by NCSF
- Report an Incident to the NCSF
- Vetting People for Sex Parties
- Self Care Plan
- Rope Family
- Leather Family
- Why People Stay in Abusive Situations
- BDSM and Abuse
Resources & References
- Book: Disrupting the Bystander
- Author: A.V. Flox
- Website: Listen to a Movie.com
- Movie: Back to the Future III
- Patreon.com/PodPodCvltCast for DeLorean Pictures
- Episode: The Swiping Game
- Website: National Coalition for Sexual Freedom
- Resource: Creative Interventions Risk Assessment Chart
- Poem: All Watched Over by Machines of Loving Grace
Episode 32 Transcript
Our transcripts are done by an AI with some brief editing by us to keep our costs free/minimal. If you’d like better transcripts, please consider becoming a Patreon Supporter! If our web version is not comfortable for you to read, try the link at the end that takes you to a version from our transcript-provider.
Transcribing… please check back.
Credits & Contact
- Hosts: Max, Chastain, Hannah, & Erik
- Website: www.podpodcvltcast.com
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- Midroll Music: “The Point Break” by Pale Blue/Goberino
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