#35 Love in the Time of Corona

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Summary

The Pod talks about how they’re doing and gives tips for dating and romance in the time of Covid-19, the novel corona virus. Chastain shares some Podfest Media Expo 2020 adventures and gives shout outs to the people who got her there, helped her while she was there, and made her time there awesome.

FYI: We’ve had some changes since recording, and Erik will be recording with Hannah, Max, and Chastain remotely moving forward. We’re working to make that a smooth process. We’re all pretty stressed and bummed we can’t see our friend, and Chastain’s partner. We know we aren’t alone in that experience. Our hearts go out to our listeners. We love you. We’re going to be okay and get through this.

Click here to jump to the FULL TRANSCRIPT of this episode.

Terms of Note

Here are some terms and phrases we use in this podcast and links to articles we find informative. If we say something unfamiliar to you, please drop us a line on Twitter @podpodcvltcast FB /podpodcvltcast or email: thepod@podpodcvltcast.com Check out episode #1, #2, #3, #4,or #5 for some basic polyamory and kink terms. Or check out our glossary episodes #24 & #25

Resources & References

Podcasts Mentioned In This Episode (Asterisk indicates Chastain feels a connection with the host/s)

  • Weekly Woosah with August Lim
  • I’m Off The Clock
  • The Other Side of 40*
  • The Muck Podcast
  • 2 Sharp Chefs & A Microphone
  • The Campfire Hour
  • Immersion Nation
  • Your Brain On FaCTS
  • The Gafiltha Show
  • Balancing Sports Podcast*
  • Andy’s Podcaster Podcasting Podcast*
  • Squeaky’s Cauldron*
  • Sleep With Me
  • Sex With Me*
  • Back From the Abyss*
  • Women Who Sarcast*

Episode 35 Transcript

Our transcripts are done by an AI with some brief editing by us to keep our costs free/minimal. If you’d like better transcripts, please consider becoming a Patreon Supporter! If our web version is not comfortable for you to read, try the link at the end that takes you to a version from our transcript-provider.

Erik
Cool. Hi everybody. I

Max
know

Chastain
do you want caffeine? Erik?

Hannah
I don’t need it. Do you have food? Erik? I did.

Chastain
Okay, so did you have

Erik
you know the regular meat and

Chastain
dried meat? Turkey jerky? Turkey jerky. No. Do you want Turkey jerkyy? No. Okay.

Erik
If I wanted Turkey jerky, I would have had jerk. Okay.

Max
It’s weird when Erik’s not wearing a hat. Well, it’s fine. I didn’t think it was last.

Erik
It’s warm. It’s very warm.

Chastain
It’s warmer today. Guess the high today was 69 Nice. Yeah, I like your spicy well, like the turkey. So bad radio and okay

Erik
I’m not sick.

Hannah
I’m not sick so nice not to be sick. Yeah

Max
Good talk Iris.

Hannah
You guys. Oh, I have a text message. Oh, it’s max.

Max
We have a text message. Oh no the screenshot. Just come through.

Chastain
Okay, well don’t look at that yet. Area put your phones down. Gosh Did you wash your hands?

Erik
like nine times?

Max
Only within what period not specified?

Did you touch your penis?

Erik
like nine times 10 times?

Hannah
Yes.

Max
It sounds like you have an actual count

Chastain
Cova 19 doesn’t come from penises like

Max
you have an app on your phone to track my wiener touching. I mean,

Erik
yeah, Bill calm.

Max
It touches this phone before he touches his apps have dot com in the name rice. Wiener tracks.com salesforce.com.

Erik
not that dissimilar Yes.

Yeah, she she just took my thing and then set it bold, right? Yeah.

Chastain
Isn’t that kind of who I am as a person? everybody else’s thing and I just sort of run with it. Alright, so tracking

Max
Wiener. So, Ronnie,

Chastain
I should have a tag and release program that is enabled by MIT this day.

Max
Yes, those are the words I said.

Erik
Welcome to the Pod Pod Cvlt Cast, where we talk about life love, learning and libido and share our journey to polyamory and kink Hi, I’m Erik

Chastain
I’m Chastain

Hannah
I’m Hannah

Erik
I’ve been working

Hannah
is very good. It just took me

Max
off guard. Some Good work. Good job, Erik. Welcome to pedantry corner, a podcast within a podcast. We have segments and stuff now. Yeah, apparently. Yeah. And in fact, this episode of pedantry corner could be titled, Max uses the immense power of pedigree corner to actually just complain about a stranger on the internet. I mean, that’s

Chastain
what happened. There are I think this is what that podcast is about. Don’t complain. Okay.

Max
All right. So as soon as you guys a post from the poly families, Reddit, and the post says throwable is such a mono way to describe a triad. The word comes from a three way couple as Polly folks, we should be using better words to describe ourselves. And not use the mono language that person should use better

Erik
spelling, focus

Chastain
intention lunchboxes with an x because it’s gender and yeah, it’s I suppose it’s that’s a

Erik
that’s a no, it’s like that’s a millennial bullshit. No, it is you change you change spelling two things. All right. Let me look

Chastain
that up for you because we’re about to get into a fistfight.

Hannah
Okay, so thank

Max
you for co opting pedantry corner.

I didn’t tell you within

Max
this is a podcast within a podcast within a podcast, where everybody co ops my shit.

Hannah
So the more visibility there is in in media, for polyamory, the more angry people are about triples, yes. And so I feel like this is a good problem to have that now we’re like, wait, wait, wait, we meant to get ahead of that. Like before this became a thing. in pop culture, we really meant to have our own terminology.

Max
Right? Do does anybody have a preference of thurible or triad?

Chastain
I think that triad is fine. I think that I see triad as a more equal thing. And when I hear through Apple, I hear a couple plus one. So I think it invokes sort of some different imagery. And I think that with, you know, there’s negativity around unicorn hunting. I mean, that’s a there’s, I mean, people do those relationships incorrectly all the time, have those relationships incorrectly all the time. I mean, there’s no right way to do it, but there are certainly wrong ways to do it. So I think that when you are approaching dating as a couple, instead of as two individuals who want to have a relationship with yet another individual and and form the three separate relationships that are there, or four separate relationships, because it’s Yeah. Oh man, I’m bad at math. Yeah, you start. There’s some. Yeah, you have to do like charts right stuff. Yeah. I think that triad shows more equality and doesn’t doesn’t create that couple. privilege. Yeah. You see a lot of unicorn hunting. Yeah. Can I just interrupt real quick? Yeah, to steal a patent? Can I interrupt myself real quick? Yeah. So folks is a variation on the word folks, fo l k s. And it’s meant to be a gender neutral way to refer to members of or of a single identity in the LGBTQ community because it’s gender neutral and inclusive. Yeah,

Hannah
I will say that even being very familiar with that usage. It does not make any sense to me. So I just, you know, if it makes sense to others, that’s great for them, but it was already a gender neutral term. So I don’t know who that’s highlighting.

Chastain
Yes, exactly. I use folks with an axe. Because I know people who are non binary and want that visibility, so I use it as a way of honoring them.

Max
Yeah, I except for putting. I was a spelling bee champion. So I disagree with that in honor of my former titles for titles, plural. I like with the exception of substituting Z’s for ss, or dropping, dropping e at the beginning of extreme to make it more extreme. I like like that kind of shit. Like I like using X to spell things

Chastain
to like mix for instead of Miss.

Max
Well, no, I mean, I guess I I think that is also good. But no, I just mean in general, like, you know, and one of my iterations of making, making booze I was calling my thing booze works within web RX for work, like, I like that

Erik
kind of stuff. I’m also going to point out My own hypocrisy at this moment because this is the pod podcast in which we intentionally misspell it. So I’m past it we know we spell it

Max
correctly for us

Chastain
it is misspelled the

Erik
common usage of the word code is not with a P. This is why we say it aloud every time because it’s the less common way of saying it or spelling it.

Chastain
Well, but language changes over time and the measure of that is got a chronology. Okay.

Anyway, can we get back to?

Max
So I, I like try it. I think it just sounds better. It sounds more like a real thing. I agree. I use the repple occasionally, but

Chastain
I like saying couple circles and more poles because it just uses me to say it was fun to say

Max
purple but generally, I guess that’s a portmanteau right through purple. You would describe it as a portmanteau. Yeah. Yeah. in general. I don’t like portmanteau because they kind of suck and Don’t sound good.

Chastain
Yeah. I, I think that people should identify how clever they want to identify. Definitely. And you know if you want to be boyfriend girlfriend if you want to be boyfriend, girlfriend, girlfriend or girlfriend, girlfriend, girlfriend or

Erik
all the things are many iterations

Chastain
or many iterations if you want to call yourself a collective if you want to call yourself a family, a family,

Max
yourself whatever you want just don’t call

yourself account if you want to call yourself a

Chastain
if you want to call yourself a pod as opposed to a poly cool, I don’t like poly kewl I think it is like it just oh, I

Max
think Polly cumulus just like descriptive like you immediately get a picture in your head of like, what that means. That’s why I like that term.

Chastain
And I yeah, I just don’t personally like it to describe us like I think of us more as a pod

Max
of whales. Oh, no, we aren’t but we aren’t upali cool like a you’re Polly cool is yours like those open Did you know arrangement. But we are like, Ah, man, right. I mean, aren’t all partners with each other? No, but I mean, there’s more to this molecule. There’s more to this the more to the poly killed than there is to the pot. Where’s not a rhombus? I mean, Lauren is not, you know, yeah, with this as part of this pod part of my apology who I heard from today, by the way. Oh, nice. Actually. Yeah. Yeah. So I mean, I think that’s, that’s a whole different thing. I don’t think those two terms are like interchangeable. Okay. But and to me, are you for me, like, to me, like the Pollak you is, is the drawing, right? Like when I when somebody says poly cool, all I think of is, like, in the same way you would use the art like yeah, in the same way you would use like Venn diagram. It’s a like, description of the chart of the like, but that’s just to me, like, that’s not how anybody else in the world uses it, but that’s the way I think of it.

Chastain
And I think that that, that right there is the point that words only have the meaning that we ascribe to them. And if the meaning of a word or a word bothers you don’t use it for yourself. And so that communities of people get to choose the words that they feel comfortable with. And I don’t think that the word throttle is offensive. I think that many people use throttle joyfully. Well, that was continued to do so

Max
that was the other part of the of the post that I wanted to talk about. It says something about mono language, which isn’t a thing right, like monogamous people don’t have their own language in nano. It’s

Chastain
really to view things through a monogamy centric lens.

Erik
And just just because of numbers, though,

Chastain
well, it’s because and, and language is the lens through which we view our culture and our culture is a monogamy centric culture. Then Yes, the language is monogamy centric, that doesn’t mean that we necessarily have to come up with A new language, it doesn’t mean we can adapt the language

Max
they try.

Chastain
I think it’s okay to come up with new terms that make us feel comfortable. Do it all the time. Right. And so I think it’s okay for us to have words that make us feel more comfortable about our identities. And I think it’s okay for us to have a lexicon that make us feel good about who we are. And right now, we have many, many terms for many genders and sexual orientations and romantic orientations. And that’s okay. And I think that people get upset about that because it’s change and it’s different and people don’t want to learn. But if you can learn how to order that complicated Starbucks drink off of a menu, then you can learn how to maybe like deal with somebody complicated sexual or romantic orientation or gender.

Max
Right But what I was talking about, but to say that there is a mono language in there as a not mono language that’s doing the same thing from the other side of that coin is to like, is an awesome thing right? Like, trying to draw a thing like there is no language for it’s like a you know, it’s like an insider outsider. It’s using the the gamer talk or whatever. Like it’s just trying to say we get to have our own cool words that we get to use because we’re doing this cool thing that like normies don’t get,

Chastain
but I think it is kind of like that, isn’t it?

Erik
Yeah, but the way that that was worded is the use of the monic language thing was just as non inclusive as what they were complaining about.

Hannah
I I don’t but okay. I think I see this person’s point because

Erik
I just think they’re terrible at wording ship.

Chastain
Yeah, I agree with that. I think Yeah, okay. This person on the internet is dumb. We don’t like you. We don’t

Erik
have any problem with them. I had a problem with their words.

Max
Anything here?

Hannah
No. I think it’s fair to criticize through Apple as a term. Obviously, as a community, we do not all agree The terminology that should be used. So trying to put something out there that says, you know, this is coming from monogamy and we reject it is just not true. Like, there is no universal language among people who are in monogamous relationships, but it is 100% valid criticism to say a triad is not a couple of free people like that doesn’t make sense. And it’s making the assumption that all relationships are couples by default. And so it’s tagged on to that. Like, I think that that is fair. I agree. And I think it’s fair to like be critical of that language. But like you were saying, some people are perfectly comfortable with that. So I don’t I don’t think you can like set yourself up as a judge of what all you know, three way relationships or like, what anybody should call themselves. I think the other piece of that though, is that using triple as a term puts your relationship model on par with couples, and I think that was the intention is to say we have a relationship, you might understand it, you might not agree with it. But we’re in a relationship that’s just as valid as a couple. Right.

Chastain
And we saw from, you know, we suffer from the, the movement to legalize gay marriage and same sex marriage that the more comfortable you make society with something and the more normal and like them, you make something, the more than eat more easily they accept it. And so if you have a throttle, well, oh, it’s just like a couple except they’re three people, Oh, I get it. Well, then, of course, that’s valid and of course down the line, we should let them have rights. And of course down the line, we should let them get married. You know, I can see the logic behind that thinking. And I can see the logic behind maybe that being kind of a political We’ll move, but I don’t you know, I think it is okay for for groups to have language within their group that makes them feel comfortable and makes them feel special. And separate. We do.

Erik
And we can also speak job interview. Yeah.

Max
I just remember this. You guys remember the throuple episode of Dharma and Greg? Yeah, yeah, maybe. Yeah, there was a, there was an episode where like, I think Dharma got interested in somebody else. And like, told her mom about it. And he’s like, yeah, we know lots of people who have these relationships. And I think they call them like, globs or clumps or something like sometimes people live is clumps or something. No, no, I should probably try to figure that out. So you can put that in the show notes or whatever.

Chastain
That would be a good cast media club. Yeah, slash Dharma and Craig, for the Patreon.

Hannah
I don’t know what that is. Oh,

Erik
it was probably overboard. Sit calm.

Max
It was one of those, like, look at this crazy couple with this stuck up guy and his Yeah.

Erik
Chicken in the corporate lawyer. Yeah or whatever.

Max
Yeah, that’s it. That’s exactly what he was. It was a corporate lawyer. Yeah. Yeah. So that’s what that was. Yeah. It was one of about 18 of those shows,

Chastain
and later he became a profiler on criminal minds. Well, not the character. Oh. That’s what he grew up to be.

Erik
Greg, the profiler?

Chastain
Yeah, great. He grew up to be a profiler.

Hannah
So if on TNT, people started referring to people in monogamous relationships, it’s like duo’s or partnerships. I feel like that would be very annoying and disruptive and confusing. So I don’t know if like the goal of bringing everyone on par to like using the same link The I don’t know, it feels kind of weird. This is

Erik
why I refer to everybody’s just hate you,

Chastain
but people in monogamous culture have started calling them partnerships and have started like, yeah, taking that language and and using it even though that is traditionally LGBTQ language enemy in the poly community poly am community took that from the LGBTQ community. So everybody can Erik and I are partners. Max and I are partners,

Max
or Yeah, and we’ve talked here before and I’ve talked about, like, my trouble with all of the terminology. Like I don’t like saying girlfriend, because it feels weird for me for to me for a 42 year old man to talk about his girlfriend, right? I don’t like saying partner because on the one hand, it seems sort of like dry and clinical. And like I could be talking about my partner in business and also because it is so strongly associated with same sex relationships, you know, that it seems sort of oppressive. Read

Erik
about adult companion.

Hannah
I met her woman, like, you know, a work adjacent context the other day who was like embarrassingly trying to explain away her terminology, because she didn’t want to call something like her long term partner, a partner because it seemed too vague or a boyfriend because it seemed to me like impersonal. childish, right? Yeah. childish. And so she was explaining and over explaining why she was gonna refer to this person throughout the rest of the conversation as her lover. You’re gonna just set it like that everyone would go along. What are they gonna stop you and say, don’t use that kind of like, I don’t know.

Chastain
Yeah, and she loves her to me. Sounds too casual. Yeah, for some reason.

Max
Yeah, it does. Yeah, it doesn’t seem like committed or something. It just sounds

Chastain
like love her to me. Sounds like I am horrible. Yeah, apparently. Yeah.

Max
So yeah, and you know, like, especially in work, work, adjacent calm. Text when I if I say, Oh, my partner is doing this, like, I think the other person’s gonna be like, oh the person you’re a business with as opposed to like romantic partner. Yeah,

Chastain
yeah. Oh, we get down to business. So speaking of business, Hannah and I watched frozen to

Hannah
watch business

Chastain
only for joy. It was part of our job. No, Hannah and I had like a metamora night it was when Max was out with another partner and Erik was at his bedroom across town. And Hannah and I watched frozen two, and we discovered something amazing about frozen to what did we discover Hannah?

Erik
to do business?

Hannah
Yes, it does have to do with business business or business of running a small country. Yes. together as a mixed group of relatives and partners and animals and platonic prayers. Just

Max
so freaky.

Chastain
So okay.

Max
What was well

Chastain
I made this new man so I made notes about this. It’s totally kitchen table Polly Anna also hola spin. And I don’t remember the rest of the name what’s the what’s the the brain deers name? Rangers is Finn? What’s the ones I can’t remember? What’s the guy’s name? Ah

Hannah
yeah, okay, so the guys, man right all

Chastain
right, well, let’s assume it Okay, so so Anna and the dude, like totally have a boyfriend girlfriend thing and he wants to marry her whatever spoilers and they all have in the castle stuff. Okay? And then Kristofer boyfriend girlfriend, right. And they live in the castle with her sister Elsa, who’s the queen and whatever. And the snowman right? So this snowman, I think this snowman is like kind of else’s child because she burst him

Hannah
she created a magic

Chastain
button Anna Anna So, Ana, okay, I’m sorry, birth didn’t Ana and also kind of create him together. So isn’t it? Like kind of both their child so the sisters had a child together, which is the snowman, but I’m pretty sure that the snowman like has the hots for Elsa. Oh, I don’t feel sad.

Hannah
I’ve actually I’m genuinely distressed because there should be more lesbians in Disney, or any at all. Um, but not this one. Not in this case, because all of the people that are related. I don’t like that.

Max
Yeah, I’ve not seen my movie stop speculating about this sister.

Chastain
Well, there was the cultural appropriation thing with the sort of indigenous people and also seemed like she was maybe gonna get down with the like, hot, maybe kind of gal. I don’t I don’t know what they were supposed to be. But they

Max
Yeah, I think you probably want your

Erik
Yeah, your memories are all over it. To that dark realm of porn that you watch

Chastain
you haven’t seen the movie so sure,

Erik
no, but it sounds like you’re describing like the deepest, darkest Alaska.

No, it’s not Alaska. People seemed like they were there.

Max
They’re like left landers right there.

Chastain
Okay, so they’re like lap landers the lap lander, the cultural but so Disney culturally about bridges back out

Erik
Yeah. Let me throw you another shovel

Chastain
so we’re there was this hot culturally appropriated chick and I’m pretty sure it also gonna have lesbian stuff with her by the fire

Erik
there was like a fade out in the star wipe.

Max
Maybe you seen there I don’t know. I’m sorry I lost

Erik
man we

Max
pulled the ripcord dude because it got weird.

Chastain
Disease closed. That’s weird, huh?

Max
Actually, no, it’s totally sensible. Every park in the world, it’s sensible, but things can be sensible and weird at the same time. Yeah.

Chastain
What do we think about this whole Cova 19 thing?

Hannah
I’ve been slots, a lot of the use of the word unprecedented.

Erik
I don’t I don’t agree with that. This is not unprecedented.

Max
No one currently alive husband or anything like that. I think the measures that are it’s just been meddled right now are kind of unprecedented. There’s the US. Well, you wave your flag.

Erik
There are people.

Chastain
sterilizing measures. Yeah,

Max
I’m just here last night he believes

Chastain
he has to keep his beard sterilized, trimmed.

Max
Anyway, what were you saying?

Erik
Um, there are still people alive that went through the Spanish flu. 1918

Chastain
Yeah, there are over 100 years. Yeah,

Erik
I guess. The most recent, oldest person in life to die was no no Diet they were 113

Chastain
I think it was what Baltimore in Chicago were the two cities who did not listen to national efforts to.

Max
There was a picture Philadelphia I think didn’t cancel a parade. And they Yeah,

Chastain
but Baltimore was another one. And so they also have they also suffered. Yeah, because they didn’t know they did not continue with social distancing. So they suffered huge losses, and population because of the Spanish Flu in 1918. So you’re

Max
gonna be in around 1918. The septic septuagenarian that I work with sometimes was at work today, who’s like, super active in his VFW post, but the guy that cleans the toilets? Uh huh. They are canceling nothing like they’re doing bingo and cornhole at the post office today at the VFW. I had no

Hannah
idea until I started seeing the news articles that are like Millennials are trying to convince their parents to stop going. So

Max
these are the elders that were We’re supposed to be protecting by not homeschooling work.

Chastain
Okay, so here’s the so here’s the interesting thing. Okay,

Max
I’m sure what I said wasn’t the interesting thing going.

Chastain
Alright, so I have I have a theory I got an email

Max
right here so I got an email about your own theory talk. Talk to her so we were but yeah then you

Hannah
people over 102 from the conversation intention to imply the world dead.

Chastain
I don’t think we have any listeners who know what podcasts are over

Erik
we have no

Max
over 102 yes a challenge for you. Are you as a demographic we are drinking every day.

Hannah
Are you now we may never have

Max
the damn Spanish flu.

Chastain
Are you familiar with the concept of societal calcination? No. Okay, so calcination is an alchemical term and it’s just about purification. It’s about when you go through a massive change. It’s really What happens when you go through things like a divorce or losing a job or losing a family member, or any kind of big change, and it’s the process of self discovery and grief and loss that causes you to be introspective and causes you to look at who you are internally and how you’re approaching the world, and figuring out what you need to change to move forward from that point on, because everything has changed around you. When I was 32, you know, I had a disease thing and it hit and it changed my entire perspective on life and has changed who I am. And I wouldn’t be who I am today without that big change and big loss and I did lose a lot of stuff. So now here we are, we’re experiencing this huge change that is disrupting our entire lives. We’re going to experience lots of deaths. We’re going to experience lots of financial disruption. We’re going to experience having to change all of our routines and patterns and working from home and Different ways of how we shop and just all of our daily lives. I mean, even so much as or so little as having to wash our hands all the time and think about it. And think about our hygiene as much as we are right now. That’s a change that we’re having to make that’s affecting us. We’re going to experience loss, and we’re going to change our perspective. So this is going to really make us look at the world differently, and we’re not going to ever be the same and that’s causing trauma, but it’s also causing a global shift that will hopefully come out for the better. And I think that this concept of societal calcination is really interesting. I think maybe I’m saying maybe it’s gonna cause people to like, take a fucking look at their lives. Well, I have some perspective.

Max
Yeah, I think that you see people who grew up in very specific time periods going through very specific like national trauma, or regional trauma or whatever just grew So people who went through a thing, like it definitely does cause really subtle changes that you don’t think about, like lifelong behavior. And I think that’s really interesting. Yes, but it’s definitely not something that anybody will be able to pinpoint for 30 years, like everybody of this age is really obsessed with, you know, toilet paper, whatever, because they went through this particular trauma.

Chastain
It’s like in Japan, you know, there was the big crash in Japan financial crash in Japan. So in the 90s, and all the kids saw their parents go through this horrible financial destruction. And so all the kids in Japan are very frugal, and big, and they’re not big spenders. And they’re also not starting families, because they see, they saw how, like their parents suffered from having children and having to care for their children. And they in turn are having to care for their parents now, so they are going like what’s the point of having a family

Erik
well Their aging population and how that’s gonna collapse. Right? That that’s what happens. But that’s

Chastain
what’s confusing to that generation.

Hannah
Yeah, about at all is that, you know, our elders have been through a lot more of these life experiences than we have. And it seems like they should know better. Like, I’d like to think that they’re better at taking care of themselves yet and yet the news is telling me they actually

Max
I was trying to pinpoint like, what it is about people your age, who are more prone to believe experts, right, then, you know, your Fox News elderly viewer is Yeah, like, you know, young people believe in science and you. You hear young people say all the time, I fucking love science as their science.

Hannah
I say it all the time, to be way as possible,

Max
right? Like, but science isn’t a thing science is a method of inquiry? Like it’s not a faith or it’s not a thing? Yeah. Okay. I think it’s love anyway, whatever. I’m not gonna argue about this. In any event, whereas older people don’t, you know, older people argue with climate change, argue with scientific evidence of this thing and what’s happening with this thing and how serious it is, and that kind of stuff. And I was trying to pinpoint what it is about, like, Is it something about how the education educational system changed? Or is it like, what is it that that makes that difference?

Chastain
I think I know, of course. Well, I think it’s just having access to information. I mean, okay, yeah, that’s true. Like Hannah grew up in a time when and Erik and I and and you you, so I’m actually you and I kind of were at the bridge of this right, but I embraced it a little more thoroughly than you did. I think with technology and stuff. I’m also three years older than

Max
Yeah, like I was sort of on the cusp.

Chastain
Yeah. And I’m two years older than Erik. And then Erik is eight years older than me.

Hannah
Yeah. I’m the token millennial.

Chastain
So Hannah’s the actual millennial here, but it’s the access to information. Like if something if we have a question about something, we can just fucking look it up on our phones. And we’re comfortable with the technology saying

Erik
that we’re the ones that remember the time like the last of the ones that remember the time when you couldn’t Yeah,

Max
but the flip side of that though, is that it is the age of information. It’s also the age of disinformation. Yeah, the age where you can get the thing that confirms whatever dumb thing you want to believe. And it looks just as real and just as professional and just as whatever, but we also know but we also like had to fucking look up information online and know what a peer reviewed paper looks like. We

Chastain
have to there’s plenty of people that don’t encyclopedia are plenty of people. There are plenty of people who don’t but

Erik
well there’s also the other Part of that Flipside that I would say is that because the information is so readily available, it’s also become easy to not actually retain it. And because you can always just look it up, right? Yeah,

Chastain
I don’t. I’m good at finding things. Yeah.

Erik
You’re much better at finding things. And I am.

Hannah
Yeah, folks are we’re talking about 70s and 80s. I’ve just seen so much change in science and technology within their lifetime, that it’s hard for them.

Erik
Yes, it’s overwhelming. And because

Hannah
what we understand about the world has changed a lot. It’s changed back and forth and changed rapidly. And I think there maybe there’s just a lack of resiliency to that, or lack of trust now that it’s like, Sure, sure. This is just the latest crisis and it’s died.

Max
Oh, yeah, definitely. I mean, you hear people think jokes about like, Oh, they told us aspirin was bad for us now. Are you supposed to take an aspirin a day and now it’s bad for us again? Yeah, it’s actually worse. Now. They’re saying eggs are bad for us like that. Yeah. You know, yeah, you do here. That kind of thing

Erik
that was all over the 90s with health concerns. Oh, we should have butter. No, you should have margarine. Oh, ba ba ba ba ba

Yeah.

Max
And I think I think that’s fair. And I think that does like feed some distrust in, you know, and and believing experts. But I just think that and that’s fair and I’m encouraging that. But I think it is like patently obvious that for some reason, younger people are more apt to believe experts than older people are. And it’s a sliding scale from, you know, somebody who got out of college last week through you through Me, too. You know, I also cranky guy, McDonald’s.

Chastain
I don’t think it’s necessarily generational. I think it has everything to do with age, you know, but people who have a younger age are statistically more likely to engage in more flexible thought and more conversation and more exploratory and more experimental thought. So I think that

Erik
the same generation that we’re talking about Now where the crazy hippies in the 60s that were open and

Max
weird and radical,

Erik
yeah, compared to their elder generation that was like these damn kids.

Max
Again, I think it’s like, a lack of imagination to regardless of age, just in the person. It’s a lack of imagination, the ability to imagine something that you can’t see for yourself, right and know to be true. Yeah.

Chastain
I would like to redirect us to keep us on task for this episode. Yeah, we have an agenda. And I’d like to talk about the corona virus and how it affects how it’s affecting kind of the kink community or the polyamory community in terms of meetups right now. It when we first match when you and I first talked about this, we were going to talk about the fact that, you know, you couldn’t go to parties or how that effective but now you can’t have a group of more than 10 people All

Max
right. So yeah, when I suggested that we talked about this, I don’t know, five to six days ago, right?

Chastain
It was a different number.

Max
Yeah. And well, not just that it was a different number. It was just starting to get things really rapidly over the weekend. It’s a Tuesday. Now, we started talking about this last Thursday or something. And things happen really rapidly over the weekend. Today, St. Patrick’s Day, and the thing that I like wanted to talk about and thought would be kind of funny, is on swinger Reddit. Like there were two different kinds of posts, there were posts talking about like, I was supposed to be going to we, whatever, we’re supposed to be going to this event at this hotel, or this resort, or whatever. And now I don’t know if we should go or not. And the other kind of post was like, while the rest of the world was saying, like, stay at home and don’t talk to anybody. We’re gonna fuck everybody. Exactly. And now, it’s just like, not that at all.

Hannah
Yeah, fast enough that like, even if you were planning to go join a long distance partner to wait things out. There really wasn’t time. To make plans, people are separated indefinitely right now. Exactly. Well, so I

Chastain
have tried to come up with some creative ways that you can spend time with your partner remotely. Online. Yeah, through video chat. So I have a couple of ideas I wanted to run past just video chat. It is passing that, okay, cuz it seems like it can be hard, you know, long distance relationships are tough, but also if you’re just what if you’re dating somebody and you don’t live together, but you’re self quarantining or you’re symptomatic, and you’re self isolating? And there is a difference between the two and we have an infographic on our website pod pod called past.com. And that’s Colby awesome. So what you know what if you’re not used to planning online dates? What if you’re not used to things like Skype, which just news to you you can’t do dirty things or say dirty things over Skype. You cannot curse over Skype and you can’t get naked over Skype.

Erik
Wait, then When did they change that? Because they used to do that

Chastain
while ago and you cannot they have a user agreement and they can lock your account.

Max
Is it so I’m gonna How are they monitoring? Because it’s the

Erik
modern day and they’re spying on us. Oh,

Chastain
I don’t know. But that doesn’t matter. They can lock your account if you use curse words, or if you curse word or if you get naked, so yeah, don’t do that. Don’t get naked over Skype. So don’t.

Hannah
So today we all did. Okay,

Chastain
I would recommend. Here are my recommendations for safe ways to have nakey time with your partners first. Definitely use your phone and use apps like WhatsApp or what’s that other other one where you have a nickname? kik? Yeah, kik, I use kik, or use things like Facebook Messenger, but use a secure chat on facebook Messenger. There’s also telegram which is another Secure Site. telegram and WhatsApp are encrypted services. And telegram especially has encryption that is close to like milligram military grade encryption. So your sexy phone chat video chat is more protected and less likely to leak out there. You can also set your telegram chats and your WhatsApp chats to disappear after a time so if you’re worried about a partner saving a chat or anything like that, you can set it so it disappears just like a snapchat now, you can’t really stop somebody from taking a screenshot but just make sure you have a trusting relationship with a partner. Yeah, that would get naked on a screen that would be don’t do this with somebody you’re dating or you don’t have an established relationship with this is not like a tender first date, you’re just getting off. Like just be careful and mindful of the fact that people can use your pictures against you. If you take a naked photo, or do a naked video, keep your face out of it. Unless you really, really trust your partner. Here are some ideas for funding. dates. If you don’t want to get naked, something that you can do is you can use your phone to have a video call. And then you can go online and there are lots of fun sites where you can do things like play games. You can play games like chess, or backgammon. There are sites where you can draw together. You can play MMO RPGs,

Max
fun games of chess and backgammon.

Chastain
I used to play you can play cards with people, you can play poker, you can both sign up at the same site.

Erik
You did just enter a new decade of life.

Chastain
I just turned 40 Happy birthday to me. Fuck you, Erik.

Do we need to so

Chastain
fuck you, man. Fuck you.

Erik
I couldn’t pass it sure.

Chastain
I also enjoy Reversi whatever. So there are a little like they’re a little gay. Where you can play golf or pool There are all kinds of fun things that you can do. If you want to have like, quote unquote, an online outing date. If you want to do something sexy, then you can

Erik
do the same thing but take it closer

Chastain
do the same thing with a diamond. You can do like strip poker. You can do things like light some candles in the background, eat dinner together, have dessert together.

Erik
How do you do poker like that? Would two decks of cards and know you

Chastain
played the poker online? poker, you play the poker online.

Hannah
Whoo I haven’t checked it out yet. But I saw in some of the polyamory groups that I would follow on Facebook. They were posting and really excited about Netflix releasing it’s like synchronized viewing. Yes. So if you want to like have

Erik
that already a thing I

Chastain
know synchronous viewing there’s also Facebook will do watch parties for Facebook videos and then You can also try to sync up things like YouTube videos and stuff. So yeah, you can still Netflix and chill. You can do things like that. Um, also, a great suggestion that I have is if

Max
you say so yourself

Chastain
if you’re an adventurous couple throttle or more people or triad or dyad are

Erik
lots of words Yeah, we covered

Chastain
bomber. Um, why not check out a campsite together and support sex workers who are especially hurt right now, by the by, you know, the quarantine because a lot of sex workers don’t just do camming they don’t just do feet pics on Instagram or Patreon. They usually do other things like dancing in clubs, or seeing clients in person and those are things that aren’t happening right now. So what if you set up a date where you and your partner, go to the same cam person’s room and watch them together? Gather? How hot would it be to you know, both of us spend time watching somebody do something for you? Or if you’re a couple trapped in a house together or a group of polyamorous people trapped in a house together? What fun would that be to watch somebody together instead of watching porn and you get to interact with a real person in a sexy way, and it’s also safe, and they can’t see you, but you can see them.

Max
Do you have? Do you have a campsite that you suggest as being like, ethical, and I think that

Chastain
yes, there are there are sites that I think are ethical, the best site, I believe, is chatterbait. Or there’s also I used to do camming for them. I can’t think of the name came for suicide girls, there’s not suicide girls. There’s, I can’t think of it. I’ll put links in our show notes, to campsites that I think are do the ethical for men, women, anybody of any gender to Enjoy. So yeah, so those are my sexy time recommendations. The last Oh, so you had one,

Max
I have one more, I found intriguing.

Chastain
I have one more that I saving for last. So there are meeting sites where you can have multiple people call in on a video chat. There’s a zoom, and you can create kind of a conference call. And I think it would be a fun idea. I don’t know how to pull it off necessarily, but I think that somebody out there can do it. And I think that you can make it happen and I think that you can tell us about it. Once you did. I think that you could use zoom meeting to have a digital orgy. I think it would be fun. I think it would be a cool way. You necessarily don’t necessarily have to get naked online, but you could definitely masturbate and talk about sex and have sexy conversation and have like a group phone sex chat.

Max
I think that’s a great idea

I’ve been on I’ve been on a lot of shows.

Erik
My comedy brain is just just running this idea

Chastain
I’ve been on a lot of conference calls lately and the whole time I’ve been thinking just

Erik
just finger and furiously the whole

Chastain
just like so. Yeah. So I think that there’s a pot I think that you can still have orgies. I think that you can have them remotely

Hannah
and we want to hear about your we want to hear about yours.

Chastain
And if I have one,

Max
you get a very

Hannah
decent No, oh, you look the way I did look away but it was only because I’m looking down because I want to share an unrequested field app update, please do gotta push. I got a Corona virus push notification today. And that was not any of the emails and notifications. We’re getting constantly from various companies assuring us that they are doing everything they can. It was a notice that said socially isolating, choose a safer way to play without the need of hand sanitizer, which

Max
just login

Hannah
which I believe was just an invitation to use the day At the way dating apps are usually used to go and chat with people on line.

Chastain
Yeah, and that’s, I think that’s something that’s, I’ve seen a lot of memes about, which is, oh, people are going to have to woo me now and write me love letters in order and he can’t just, you know, say, hey, Bob. Hey, babe, what’s up? Hey,

Max
you know what? Maybe it’s time for me to jump back into that. So I do have an excuse. You have a guaranteed meeting someone before I have to be like, Nah, man.

Chastain
Yeah, we know that our listeners are being affected by it. We know that you’re out there. And this sucks, right? And I’ve done you know, we’ve done some Patreon posts about it. We’ve done some Facebook posts about it. And we’ve talked about it and in our social media in various ways. How are you? How are we doing?

Max
Well, yeah. So on a on a personal note about what we have going on. We are all due overdue. In fact, for Tesla Yes. So is this a time that we should be going to the clinic and doctors and stuff? Or is this something that we should pause? And just, I don’t know, and wait. And certainly like, you know, while we’re social distancing, we’re not like meeting new partner. So that should that just be part of the plan is to, to put testing on pause for a couple of weeks or however long it takes. And then, you know, just know that we’re not gonna introduce anything new into the ecosystem to the ecosystem. And I feel like Well, I mean, we’ve kind of already been in that direction anyway. I mean, yeah, I’m the only one with

Hannah
other partners, really. But that makes sense. To me. It seems like you’re being encouraged to just take the strain off of clinics and right, yeah, offices everywhere. And, like you said, because of the circumstances, it’s probably not increasing any risk. It’s probably out Actually lowering health risks for everybody involved. So

Max
and I think that, especially since we usually use the public clinic, I think that it especially would be beneficial to, to let them do it would be

Erik
disastrous for us privileged people to be clogging up a public system. Well,

Max
I think it’s a little neat using time and resources.

Chastain
And I think it’s more about reducing their risk of exposure, meaning any people in the health system as healthy as possible, and anything that we can do to reduce their risk of exposure because you don’t know if you’re in a and you can carry it with no symptoms for up to five days. And the incubation period is two weeks, which is why they asked you to go into self isolation for two weeks note quarantine after exposure for two weeks. And if you have a symptom, stay in self isolation for two weeks. I mean, that being said that, you know, no matter matter what your concern is, if you are having an active concern if there’s something you’re worried about whether

Max
seek metal gold, or, you know, STI stuff or whatever it is, like still go seek, you know, health advice, whatever. Right, but maybe for routine stuff, maybe you just kind of put it off for a while. Well, right. Should I not say?

Hannah
No, I think it’s important. I think that that’s being said by our governments, right. It’s being

Erik
said by the CDC, isn’t it?

Chastain
It’s important that you read the CDC website and the World Health Organization website, as opposed to things like

Erik
Fox News, Fox, Geraldo, if you hold your breath.

Chastain
Don’t watch Fox News.

Erik
No, but that was an opportunity to say something stupid in general, is it?

Chastain
Okay, but I’m pretty sure our listeners don’t watch Fox News, Fox News. So keep in mind that Yeah, don’t panic. You’re fine. We’re all gonna be fine. The dog is now a pillow sandwich. He’s the meat and potatoes. Is the meat. Why do we talk about meat so much?

Erik
Yeah, I don’t. Okay, so I will say that I’m a strange person already.

Chastain
No,

Erik
yeah, I am. I don’t know if you’ve noticed.

Chastain
My entire relationship has just changed.

Erik
Well, no, I just mean in this whole, like, push for social distancing and isolation and how that’s difficult for people. I understand that. That is a big change for a lot of people. But it’s also how I’ve been living for years. Well, yeah, there’s a lot of like hack joke on Twitter, like, oh, it turns out I’ve been social just yeah.

Max
I thought I was an introvert. Like, okay,

Erik
well, no, no, I mean, even further than that, like with the whole, like, I’m not a germaphobe but like, I don’t know. But no, like if there’s a bathroom door and I’m in a bathroom, and you can Push the door, okay, you’re just sensible about like kick it in the foot to push it up and with my foot instead of grabbing the handle the the elevator in my building, I use the tip of my key to push the buttons rather than my fingers. You know, this is shit that I’ve been doing forever. And no, Hey, who’s laughing now? I was the weird fucker forever. But now, I think it’s sexy. It’s not sexy.

Hannah
I was talking with my siblings this week too, because it’s funny for us to see some of the things that are, you know, legitimate difficulties for others right now because we grew up homeschooling. Now everyone’s homeschooling and we grew up, you know, always having you know, we we lived away from others and we always had a supply of, you know, essentials that our family needed. That would last for several weeks. That was normal for us and that holds a lot of privilege. But it was also a lifestyle thing because you know, just how my parents raised their household, so to see others say, you know, oh no, the kids are home from school, what will we do is such a funny thing to us. And I don’t know. Now that’s in our community

Erik
that that raises the poignant thing that it can be viewed as it is not really such this big life altering, devastating thing. It’s just a lifestyle change, right? It can be normalized and it can be relatively easily normalized. Well,

Chastain
you know, it’s not really affecting me that much because I’m just home all the time. Anyway. I don’t go out much. I just sort of hang out in bed all day. Oh, it’s been cool having him around because she makes snacks. I posted on her instagram instagram today at caught with a V. Cheese. Yeah, she made some some avocado and cheesy toast for us as a snack. And he made a sack yesterday too. That was just cheesy toast. But it was nice and green for St. Patrick’s Day. So I thought I would post it. Yeah, I’ve just been in bed. And I’ve been able to talk to coaching clients remotely. And that hasn’t been difficult to make that shift and the people who prefer face to face, we’ve agreed that we’ll just see each other once all of this sort of pans out how it’s going to pan out. And I’m, you know, I’m concerned that things in the future are going to get canceled that I would like to do. However, I have no control over that. And oh, well, but we have electricity, we have the internet. We still have Netflix and all the other subscription services. So honestly,

Erik
I it’s kind of if there’s gonna be a pandemic, it’s kind of a best case scenario. I know this is not it’s an awful awful thing. I’m not minimizing when

Chastain
the electricity goes away, then Then all hell breaks. My biggest concern was Are we going to have access to the big box Also water for the water cooler because I don’t like drinking or well water. But we have well water.

Max
And worse. I know this is progress. Yeah,

Erik
we’re just diving deep into the proof.

Chastain
I know. Super privileged. So yeah, but I’m, I mean, honestly that the I had a fear moment today because there’s a group home for elderly people and I know people there. And there’s a case there and I know it’s going to spread through there like wildfire now no matter what they do, it’s going to happen. And so I know that there will be losses. And based on what I’ve seen in Spain and what’s going on in Spain and the number of deaths that have been in Europe in similar situations, I know that there are going to be losses. And so I had this moment I, I texted you, Max today and I just said I’m scared and you said I’m sorry, you’re scared. And I said, Okay, like I’m just having a thing. And I talked to my sister on the phone and my sister’s a nurse and she said You know what? Don’t be scared, because it’s going to be okay. And you’re just having a germaphobic reaction. We’re just all having a reaction to something that’s different. And you’re fine. I said, thanks. And my sister is probably as anxious about things, if not more than I am. So it was cool for her to kind of give me some grounding on that.

Max
Anyway. Pauline, kinky sexy stuff.

Erik
Yeah. Moving along, moving along,

Hannah
to around here. Everybody’s like regular meetups at any parties and things that had been scheduled have now been canceled,

Max
actually, I think so. I think at time of recording, the local group that was going to have an in person monthly, there in person monthly thing is trying to get it going online. Like while we’re, while we’re talking here, right now. So everybody’s adapting

Chastain
right? I’m gonna try to do a, just a quick sort of hour long talk for people to, to, you know if they’re anxious and they need somebody to talk to you online this week. Yeah, yeah. I think a lot of people are trying to just reach out to others check in on friends. How’s everybody doing? Well, you know,

Max
the other day, kind of in the one of the first days of, of the explosion of information and guidance into how we should be acting around others and social isolating all that kind of stuff. I went out to grab some stuff from Lowe’s and I ran into someone that someone that we know from Polycom community stuff, you know, hugging is such a big part of this thing. Like she said to me, like, are you huggable or you’re not doing that because of right of this situation and Yeah, it’s interesting that that there are parts of this thing that are just automatic. But also that question is automatic. The ru huggable question is also automatic, which makes it a little less awkward, I guess. Yeah. Because there’s so much talk about like, Are we still handshaking? Are we?

Erik
Well, it’s a it’s an infrastructure, that point that’s already in place in this community. Right. That sort of helps.

Max
Yeah, it’s, it’s in place in this community. Usually because of like, emotional stuff.

Erik
Yes. But it’s also handily and easily transfers, right?

Hannah
Yeah. kind of nice. love to see that popping up in places that aren’t as familiar with it. Right. Like, you know, work stuff, right? Yeah.

Max
And no matter the context, like we don’t have to come up with these weird work arounds like you just don’t have to touch people. You know, you don’t have to come up with again if hugging already been that way five, or whatever else like yeah, just don’t gotta touch people. Yeah. All right. Whether it’s poly and people or whatever,

Erik
I did have a funny moment last week, and this was just prior to the big old explosion and everybody freaking out. And it was a guy that I work with who has had a couple of varying health things. And so he’s been out of work and whatnot. But he’s also since he’s been at home morph was one of the earlier ones freaking out about all of this. It at least in my sphere, of people that I deal with day to day, and when his first day back to work after his, his wife had a baby. He had a big old smile and popped up an elbow instead of shaking hands and it made me laugh harder. We were doing that but he was right.

Chastain
We were doing that at pod fest. It was because this had already started around the weekend that I was there. And so that hotel was just smelled like disinfectant and there was an sanitizer everywhere and

Max
that was pretty early for though. That was early and it’s for flu season.

Erik
Florida. Yeah, let’s let’s be real. Florida is not unfamiliar to outbreaks of disease.

Chastain
And people weren’t, you know, people weren’t shaking hands, people. You know, hugging was something that was reserved for the people that you really liked and connected with. And everybody was washing their hands a lot and the restrooms were being wiped down every 10 minutes. The Starbucks there was not refilling personal cups. It was very interesting. It was really interesting. You know, they refill personal clubs.

Max
They stole cups, they’re good. They can be distressed.

Erik
Well, I mean, I’ve had many food service jobs in the past and they were always you don’t accept anything back across the counter. Yeah. And that’s, that’s something that I’ve always gone with for, again for what I’ve built for this shit.

Chastain
Oh, do you want me to talk about pot? Yay. Okay, so I have to Okay, so so I don’t know how to do this because Cuz I have a list of people that I really want to give like shout outs to, but I also want to tell like stories. So which was what should I do? stories or shall be

Erik
okay, so that’s what you’re gonna do anyway.

Chastain
Fuck. So I went to pod Fest, and some people helped me get there and I want to say thank you to the people who helped me get there and I don’t know if I got everybody.

Max
So Amtrak, I hope you get to the Amtrak station. So I’m first.

Chastain
So I want to say this is a podcast shout out to my co hosts, Max, Hannah and Erik, especially a to an anonymous Angel donor. To Jen, Jenny, Jake, Phil, Maggie, Janet, David, Tim, Nikki and missy. Thank you for helping me get to pod fest. So here’s the thing. We took a trip to Disney in January and there wasn’t like zero budget to go on any other trips, especially not to Orlando which was where pod fest media extra budget

Max
to go on that trip.

Chastain
There was no budget to go on any trip. There’s basically there’s zero budget anything yeah, yeah, but we made it work right. And we have Good time.

Erik
Apart from being deathly ill there,

Chastain
we didn’t have like the resources really to get me to pod fest and I really, I didn’t think that it was anything that we could do this year and we talked about it. I got a ticket to go to, to go to pod fest from buzzsprout to go plug fests from buzzsprout, the company that hosts our podcast, right. But no way to get there. I put it out there into the universe and created a fundraiser asking friends, if they would just sort of throw five bucks my way here and there, and friends and listeners and patrons went a little nuts. And paid for my train ticket and pay for my hotel room. And Erik paid for my meals while I was down there. And then I got to pod fest. I took the train and I stayed in the crappiest hotel. I stayed in a Howard Johnson And it was so fantastically scary. I stayed in the back of the hotel on the first floor, and it was dark and, and there were no carpets on the floor. And I had to make make a little path with towels. Yeah, no carpets, it was tile floors and I had to make a path with my towels. So I wouldn’t have to actually touch the floors with my feet. Because I was really concerned about getting athlete’s foot or something. And I didn’t have a lot of socks, which I was good for that because yeah,

Erik
it’s non porous. And you can say, Oh, well, way more than carpet and

Chastain
I’m not sure when I’m not sure how sanitized Okay, well.

Erik
In fact, that’s likely why it was because it’s Orlando.

Chastain
Guys is

Erik
concerned about affections, too.

Chastain
I was I didn’t. I was. Needless to say, so. I there’s an app that the convention has and I talked to a couple of podcasters beforehand so I knew a couple of podcasters were staying in the same hotel and staying Hotels nearby. And there was a meetup for people who podcast with buzzsprout that buzzsprout was hosting at Disney Springs at splitsville the bowling alley, so I got to go to this bowling alley I ride shared over and they had an idea for a podcast,

Max
but it’s called your podcasts suck. So we just listened to other podcasts and talk about how they suck. So a good idea or a great idea. I think

Chastain
we have an idea for a podcast where I pitch you podcast ideas and you just seem put out by it yesterday.

Max
Yeah. Okay. I think I think it was the outcasts

Chastain
it was the put out cast.

Erik
Man I love Atlanta hip hop.

Max
Learn embarrassingly late that outcast was a group not a go on.

Chastain
So I so I’m not planning to pull so I dressed up and My my business casual finest to go to a bowling alley in Orlando, Florida springs, Disney Springs and I got to meet the people who run buzzsprout the owners of the company and the customer service people that work for the company. The people that I email when I have problems with our podcast stuff,

Max
please call me call me buzz Mr sprout is my fault.

Chastain
Yes, I got to meet Mr. sprout and and Mrs. sprout and a little sprout Ling’s I met the people who were staying in my hotel, Joe and Ryan with the balancing sports podcast and they ended up giving me rides all weekend. So I didn’t have to pay for ride shares. So I got to like not spend a lot of money so pocket some of that shit. So that was also the so the Shush. So it’s funny. I I told you I had so I came back

and then

Max
we’ve eaten Like King.

Chastain
So the next day was the first day of the actual convention. And I met a lot of great podcasters that night at the first at the bus thing, but I didn’t really socialize too much. I ate dinner with somebody who has a medical podcast I can’t remember the name of but I’m sure I have our business card. She was great and very sweet though. The next day I went to a women in podcasting seminar. And I spent the whole day in that session. That was the only session I went to that day. And I learned so much from so many great women on that stage. It was amazing. I was just blown away by the amount of information that I got from three hours of just different women going up and talking about their experience and podcasting. And I thought, Wow, this is amazing. I’ve never been in a room with so many people who do the thing that we’re doing. It’s really cool. And I met people there. I met Kathy with the woman who starcast podcast and she turned around and she said, Are you Chastain? I said yes, she I want you on my podcast. So I’m going to be on the women who starcast podcast in May. I think I’m going to set up a I’m going to be interviewed in April, which is really exciting. And I met so many other. So many people. That day was a lot. It was an 18 hour day it was nonstop. I dressed to impress. I had no name tag, they hadn’t printed My name tag,

Max
whereas he usually dressed to this dress.

Chastain
I usually dress to distress. This is true. I’m a sadist. I usually dress to very to make people uncomfortable. So I dressed to impress. And I work. I work. I work. Exactly. I work buttons that I wore buttons that said asked me about polyamory and cake. And I had lots of cards to hand out about the podcast and I did so I networked like a motherfucker. I met people from the sex positive have me podcast and they had VIP passes and I only had a creator pass. And we spent the entire lunch together. And because we had explicit podcasts, there was a meetup for people with explicit podcasts. And at that meet up, I met August with the weekly WUSA podcast, which That was amazing. And I also miss it all about bad boys too.

No, it is not. It is not and I also definitely

Max
a bad boys to podcasts that

Erik
have WUSA in the title.

Max
Sure, yeah.

Erik
Sorry, continue.

Chastain
Um, and I met a couple of other folks who also have either podcast where they swear or podcasts about part. Just topics that aren’t necessarily you know, it’s stuff that your grandma would listen to,

Max
right? Because swearing is fun cuz swearing

Chastain
is shame Hill. Fuck Yeah.

Erik
Where do you think I learned to swear

Max
from my podcast? No from my grandpa 10 years ago, when podcasts. There were about up until then. Erik had never heard a swear word. And then he heard his first podcast It was a whole new world.

Chastain
So there were about two or 3000 people at this thing. It was an insane amount of people and I was very overwhelmed the whole time and I wanted to hide in the bathroom the whole time. But I couldn’t because I kept cleaning the damn bathrooms after that, so the so Angelica and john from the SEC positive me podcast kind of adopted me and they snuck me into the VIP lounge, which was very quiet and I commenced to stealing things I still tiebacks I still notebook don’t say that they’re gonna

Erik
Yeah, you like yeah, you’re on their own

Chastain
platform. That’s part wasn’t paying for this. This is this. Okay? Yeah, that’s probably doesn’t pay for pod fest. They just bought my ticket.

Erik
Sure. We’re

Max
gonna get out certain sense BAM all paying for podcast.

Chastain
Yes. Think about it. Yeah, really? I mean, thanks to Chris. Kermit sews and his lovely wife. For for all of the great she doesn’t

Max
have an identity of her own. She

has a podcast about medication versus wife.

Erik
Her name is lovely wife.

Chastain
Okay, Miss lovely wife. Wow. Yeah, lovely wife krumitz Oh, yeah, lovely life. lovely wife, Kermit serves

Max
families.

Erik
For generations.

Max
I come from a long line of

Chastain
lovely wives. I think this would probably be easier if I just go down the line and sort of get to the people that I actually should. Yeah. Okay, so I want to just, sir, so we did this thing at the end of pod fest where people were invited to come up on stage and say what they were thankful for. And I went up on stage and talked about the fact that there was no way that I could have gotten there without our listeners, without our patrons without my friends and family. And that at that, the entire weekend people had looked out for me had bought me meals had given me rides had asked me if I had some water. They once they learned that I had a disability because I have the trigeminal neuralgia that I could get tired and things people were making sure that I was taking care of myself when I necessarily Well, when I probably wasn’t taking care of myself because I was spending long days doing something that was really difficult for me. The community there at pod fest was amazing and overwhelming. And I met some people who were very special to me that I hope that I continued friendships with. But I met a lot of other people too, that I didn’t get to connect with as deeply but I want to kind of give some shout outs to some podcasts that might be cool for other people to check out. I’m definitely going to put links to these in the show notes. But I just want to go through the list really quickly. Of course. Thanks to Chris Kermit SOS for putting on pod Fest in the first place. Thanks to drew from the sleep with me podcast. I got to meet him as one of my favorite podcasts I listened to it’s it helps you get to sleep. Thanks to Joe who puts on the nd independent podcasters convention. I’d got to talk to him for a few minutes. He was one of the presenters. very encouraging. I’m definitely applying to speak at that convention in September. I’m excited about that the application is due soon. So we’ll see. Kath from women who starcast mentioned her already. August limb from weekly whoosah cash from I’m off the clock. I know. A great gal. Albin from buzzsprout kind of weird, but very nice. April from the other side of 40. I kept running into her and we had a lot of fun conversations because you’re also now the other side of Florida. Shut up, Erik.

Max
Well, I mean, theoretically, like you’re the other side of 40. Yeah, you’re the I mean, hey, all we’re all here

Chastain
Saturday night you were under 40. Mm hmm. The whole team at Rebel base media. Everybody was really really nice. Hilary from the muck podcast. Thank you for making the entire mixer. Very interesting. Lorraine from two sharp chefs and a microphone. You have great hair. I have great hair that works out for us. The campfire our podcast, they have some cool coffee that has whiskey that’s infused with whiskey. Maybe check them out. Nate whiskey, Nate from immersion will not sponsor it. Nate from immersion nation. Max. I think you should check out immersion nation because they have some episodes about the Disney theme park experience and immersive experiences.

Max
I don’t care for podcasts.

Chastain
Oh my gosh. Um Ivan from the gefilte fish show. He was somebody I met at the explicit podcasts meetup. Moxie from your brain on facts who is local to us. The leader At the the OSA collective. And then of course, again I mentioned Joe and Ryan from balancing sports who gave me rides a weekend. And they even came and picked me up when they had already left the convention for the evening. And they were like, just text us when you’re done, and we’ll come get you and they came and picked me up during a horrible traffic thing. And it was so nice of them. Yeah, they they were and they they brought me and my luggage to the hotel when they were already leaving. And it was they were very, very sweet. so mad love to drone Ryan. And then special love to Andy from Andy’s podcaster podcasting podcast, Andy’s podcaster pod.

Erik
And these podcasts are podcasting podcast. Yes, Andy’s podcast. Well,

Chastain
thank you. Good job. I just wrote down a word. I wrote down an extra word. Um, Andy, Andy became my special friend at the networking. Why don’t you put

Max
finger quotes around it that was uncool.

Chastain
So did not do that. So at around which word Andy,

Max
Andy,

Chastain
Andy, at the networking event that was Friday, let me tell you about this networking event on Friday night. They had everybody from the convention come to this event where we sat at number tables and we were all given a card and the card had different tables on it and the idea was

Max
sure you didn’t just crash a wedding reception?

Hannah
Yes. positive.

Chastain
So the the card had numbers on it. And

Erik
no, she crashed Bingo Night,

Chastain
the idea was that we had to when they rang the bell or whatever, we would move to a different table. So we were given these cards and we were given sheets of paper with with some traits of podcasters on them. And then we sat at these fucking tables for a fucking hour and nothing happened except they talked about some stuff on stage. So I sat between an Australian dude and a British dude. The Australian guy kept talking about the fact That’s true. No, the fact that he, his name was Bryce. And he kept talking about the fact that he had $6 million in real estate but no podcast yet. And the British guy kept talking about the fact that he didn’t have cash on him. And he wished that it but he had cash on it because it was a cash bar, and that anybody would

Erik
bring them together.

Chastain
No. And, and so, so naturally

Max
by you whiskey with real estate,

Chastain
and I said, You know what, I don’t think I have any cash with me because I know I said, I have cash. Maybe we can make an arrangement. I don’t know. We figured something out anyway. So

Hannah
we’re gonna say that one guy had money and no podcasts and the other one had a podcast to no money. And so they got married and then their life was good. No, you

Erik
never I was sad. One was British, and one was Australian. So

Max
I was sad because I had no shoes. But then I met a man who had so

Chastain
they like they, they have this sort of opening ceremony thing. And then there was this skit, where there were there was a movie that played an

Max
skit.

Chastain
And a woman, an older woman is dressed as sort of touristy clothing. And she goes, like I have to get to pod Fest, and a man pulls up in a car and pretends to be her rideshare person and he’s wearing a cowboy hat. And he goes, where’s that? And she goes, Well, I’m in Key West, but I have to get to Orlando and I need to be there soon. And so there’s a skit happening.

Max
He was a long ass way. Yeah, that’s right. So then they

Chastain
show up and they both come out on stage and they tell a story. And so we’re sitting there and none of us have any alcohol and

Max
and then the Australian real estate

Chastain
wait but but then the Australian gets up and then comes back with wine. And then things got interesting. Did the girl No, no, no, no, no, that the Australian comes back with wind up on the roof and starts drinking

Erik
Lori’s

Chastain
the British guy next to me who is Andy from Andy’s podcaster podcasting podcast.

Hannah
Is this his face? Oh, yeah, these podcaster

Chastain
podcasting. This is his face. This is my friend Andy. So Andy still doesn’t have a drink and so, so the Australian is getting wine drunk now. And there are two other people who have podcasts, I think, talking about a hurricane and telling a story about a third person who’s not on stage that we don’t know who has horses. And this person has two horses that she owns and a trailer for the two horses

Erik
is the right

Chastain
No, no, don’t interrupt. This person has a trailer for two horses and two horses and live on an island The Key West and there’s a hurricane a comment, but she adopted or took it or rescue her So she has three horses and a trailer for two horses. And there’s a hurricane coming, and they have to evacuate. But she has no way to get all three horses off because she only has a two horse trailer. So this guy is someone that this woman who came from Key West knows, and he wasn’t really a rideshare driver surprise to us all. We were shocked. The Australian lash shocked because he was a little tipsy by this point, and still had $6 million in real estate. He told us about it a lot. And Andy and I keep looking at each other. And we’re very concerned about these horses, you see. So the lady calls the guy because apparently the guy has a horse podcast, a podcast or people who own horses. So apparently, he has somehow helped this thing. So apparently, he somehow helped this lady help her friend. Get the horses and herself out. her dog and her cat off the island and everybody was safe. But I think one of the horses is dead now. But this is a true story. This is a true story about how we can come together through podcasting to save horses from hurricanes, but the thing is, is that

Max
there’s like a frog in a scorpion. River.

Chastain
Yes, but this story was a 30 minute fucking story.

Erik
Yeah, it is right now.

Chastain
Okay, okay. So this is

Max
the term you had to be there.

Chastain
Yes. So you have to be there. And this story was

Max
completely wrong. as painful

Chastain
is this is now for you. as awful as this is. As not interesting as this is, yeah. Imagine being there with no wine with no booze

Max
for the listener.

Erik
Chester didn’t go anywhere, is actually very sick.

of a fever tree. Shut up.

Chastain
So we had to do an

Max
activity like Sucker Punch.

Chastain
So they finally let us do an activity. And they had the, they had this activity where they gave a sheet of paper that say, never stand alone, and I have a copy of it. And it’s worth a

Max
copy, blank piece of paper, you have a copy of it, or you’re still waving and the

Chastain
point of it, the point of it is to show you that all podcasters have insecurities, but that we that you know, we should still do it. And Andy and I added some things to the end of our sheets while we were sitting at the table about telling horror stories that we shouldn’t do it. And then they told us we had to pass those pages to other people. And then we had to pass those pages to people at other tables.

Max
Okay, I looked at this piece of paper, this blank piece We’ve heard Yeah. And at the top the instructions kind of give you the idea that other people are gonna see why

Chastain
we didn’t Well, we thought it would just be like people at our table and the people at our table were already I mean, we were giggling through this. So, like, like I got giggles when Dracula popped up from behind a bed when we went to that play.

Max
That’s an inside joke that no one listening I know. And not even Erik will understand. So

Chastain
so that was the worst story. It wasn’t a good story. No, this is how I met Andy. So I’m casting podcasting. So I’ve been securities when you can have horses. Exactly. So that was my first podcast.

Max
How many people have horses have insecurities? No, they have horses. Okay, badass.

Erik
Yeah, it is a right triumphant thing too.

Chastain
So this is how I made I’m just gonna keep talking. So this is how I made my first like, fast friend at pod cat at pod fest. And I think Hey, my event is canceled. I was supposed to have a meet up for polyamory, polyamorous people at eight. It was like 830 by the time the horror story was over, and so I was chatting with people and saying, Let’s still meet up for a drink in the bar. We all need a drink after that horror story. So good. It just said horseshit. I gathered people, and we still met up for a drink and the people that I met up with became the people that I hung out with all weekend. So the people that I hung out with all weekend were Andy from Andy’s podcaster podcasting podcast, which his mission is to listen to every podcast and review it but not only not only to review it, but also to sort of act it out in a dramatic way and dramatically comedic way. I mean, content content. Also, Sarah, a lovely soul from squeaky cauldron.

Max
squeak squeak

Chastain
From squeaky cauldron who was just the first person that I hugged at pod Fest,

Erik
and I your coffin, look at yourself,

Chastain
stop. I asked her she was huggable. And she said yes, please. And at the end of pod fest when I went up and thanked people for helping me, she was behind me in line. She thanked me in front of a roomful of people on mic at pod Fest, and

Max
she was a mogul. And she said what intestine said over your money,

Chastain
and then I stole her money. I’m Craig from the back to back from the Abyss podcast. His podcast is about psychedelics. It’s the number 10 podcast about psychedelics

Max
Damn, I hope Yeah, it was an abyss podcast like I never we wish the Abyss and talk about it. Oh, that would be amazing. Yeah,

Chastain
that’d be rad dude. Yeah, good idea, I guess and also Angelica john, of course from a sex positive me podcast because they hung out with me. Here’s a list of things I stole. So again, I sold tea bags and a notebook. But I also stole a speaker tag for my badge. So people thought that I was a speaker at pod fest. So they would come up and start talking to me and act like I was important. And they would never mention the fact that I had a speaker tag on my on my badge, but they would ask me questions about my podcast, and I would, I would talk to them about it and they were interested in it and our listenership has gone up. So yay, podcast.

Max
Dude, he being a liar and a thief. Yeah,

Hannah
yeah. confessions of podcasting.

Max
Yep. So listen to this episode.

Chastain
So I’m going to tag everybody on our social media and stuff and I’m not nearly saying as much as in my heart about the people that I hung out with all that weekend because it was like going to summer camp and making summer camp friends and hanging out with those people and you know, you kind of just like fall in love with your summer camp friends and it’s just you know, you have that camaraderie and everyone does not forget

Max
Like, no,

Chastain
Hana. So Hannah knows theater people like being in a play with somebody.

Erik
Yeah, Hannah knows. Theater either. I was in the orchestra pit.

Chastain
I nerd. I felt like I was in my element. I felt like I did a good job at pod fest. I learned a whole lot was it cadmium?

Erik
It was gallium. It’s the metal that’ll melt in your hand. Not your mouth. No, no, actually the faster you die, yeah, cuz it’s a metal that’s liquefy.

Chastain
So that was my pod fest update y’all. Thanks for letting me talk about

thanks.

Max
Oh, I also had a field update. Okay. I think field eight my like profile or whatever. I can’t get into it. Did you get blocked? No, I just can’t get into it. Oh, no one.

Erik
Oh, that happens with me for everything and I’m

Max
super disappointed.

Erik
Wow.

Max
All right read

Chastain
to it. Should we wrap up? Yeah,

Max
sorry, kill it. Okay, it’s got to be a horse in a hurricane.

Chastain
Yes, one horse actually died but not in the hurricane way later. I don’t know.

Erik
I mean, they die actually quite easily.

Chastain
They showed a picture of the horses later surviving, but there were no living ones but they said something about the other horse no longer being with us. And we were like, Whoa, we had drinks by that. And then

Erik
the other two that were still alive, slowed down.

Chastain
Turns out the cash bar accepted cards

Max
known to rock a cash bar from time to time. Yeah.

Chastain
So, yeah, yeah,

Max
yeah, cash bar doesn’t literally mean

Erik
I don’t know why it’s ever even been a four.

Chastain
All right, anyway, so we’re just gonna, we’re just gonna stop and just put an ending. All right. Bye.

Erik
You have been listening to the pod pod code cast podcast with your hosts, Max Chastain, Hannah and myself. I’m Erik. Our theme music is by Lobo loco, or break music is by pale blue with Goberino. You can find Episode shownotes social media and contact information at podpodcvltcast.com

Hannah
cvlt with a v.

Erik
Our podcast is brought to you by our supporters on patreon.com/podpodcvltcast. Thanks for listening

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Pod Pod Cvlt Cast

PodPodCvltCastCover podcast about polyamory/kink life, love, learning and libido